Happy Saturday everyone. I have a lot of following up to do this weekend so if you waiting on me, I appreciate your patience. That said I wanted to post a quick thought about "establishing minimums" vs "seeking maximums" When it comes to mate selection. Specifically how women select men. My hypothesis is as follows. I think that when women are maximizing their long term mate selection (meaning find their ideal guy to be with long term), there are a lot of traits they look for in that selection both subconsciously as well as consciously. Most of what they are aware of (think they want) are actually traits that they are looking to ESTABLISH MINIMUMS for, rather needing a maximum to satisfy them long term. And then there are hypergamous needs that MUST be maximized for her happiness. Those are mostly subconscious. She may be aware of some of these hypergamous needs, but she will think she is establishing minimum standards when her hypergamous mind actually needs to establish these as a maximum standard. In practical terms, this looks like this. She does have traits that she selects for that she is aware of. Some of those might be height, facial attractiveness, lean or muscular body, income, resources, etc. But with the things she is aware of, she is mostly trying to establish a minimum. So she might say she wants a guy who is 6ft on her dating app. But really she just wants a guy who is "tall enough" and big enough for her not to feel bigger then he is. That could be 5'4" in all practicality if she is 5'3". She wants a guy who has a "good job," but what she really needs is a guy having enough money to pay for himself, dates, and live a certain minimal standard for a lifestyle. Facial attractiveness selection just means not below a 3/10. Body attractiveness just means not being obese or having rail skinny and weak arms or whatever she sees as a minimal. And so on. Where she needs to MAXIMIZE are these 5 areas of hypergamy. A guy must be her 1. best sex, 2. the guy she is most emotionally drawn too, 3. the guy she feels the most secure with, 4. the guy who has the best "dad" qualities, and 5. the guy who she feels would have the best future potential in terms of his loyalty.

In the space of 48 hours, I have lost my kids and a business partner. Time to forge a new identity. Separation under Japanese law means I can be arrested if I so much as stand outside school to get a glimpse of them playing in the courtyard. I am grieving this abrupt loss. As for the business, sometimes it is better to stay in the friendzone rather than invest time, energy and money. All in all, everything happens for the best. I start with a blank slate. I am becoming the hero I am dreaming of. I am now writing the next chapters of my life. It is time to empty my cup, let go of the bagage and reset. I am grateful the wife pulled the plug as opposed to 6 years later. It would have been tougher to rebuild. I am grateful things did not work out with this business project. Something else will be calling. It all starts from being intentional, getting clarity. There is no better place than this old Japanese thermal spring located in a volcano crater under a typhoon to strip everything and gain clarity

Lol the title isn’t me… I already have one anyway. That is how a lot of guys think and feel so let's look at it. A common thing for guys who are young and haven’t had abundance of dating experiences, or for guys who have gotten out of a marriage or bad relationship and haven’t been with a woman in awhile is to get that empty, sad feeling inside about not having a woman in their lives. This leads to the natural consclusion of a guy “wanting a girlfriend.” This may be the natural conclusion to you reading this but picture this. You have no less than 3 women you have sexual access too at all times who are pretty gorgeous and fun to be with. How would you feel about “needing a girlfriend” if that were the case? You wouldn’t need a girlfriend. You would be having a lot of fun as a single guy. Now, after awhile you might decide that you want a better match for a long term companion, as that would be very natural and the conclusion that most guys with this abundance come too. But that guy doesn’t feel pain and sadness and a stabbing in their gut because they “don’t have a girlfriend.” The guy with abundance knows its just a matter of time and the right person, and they are busy enjoying life while they can WITHOUT the commitment, even if that is what they eventually want. A guy had a question about this, so thought I would share. His question was: “Hey Paul, I remember maybe in one of your livestreams you mentioned it’s not good to feel an emotional pull to have a girlfriend. I’m writing this as I noticed just now I had a similar feeling. Just going shopping and I saw 2 attractive couples talking and having a good time, not really doing anything specific. I felt a pull and some pain and the thought “damn I wish I had a girlfriend”. Why is this not good and what do I do about it?” Here is my answer: Let me clarify. It is ok to want a girlfriend someday or to feel a pull towards a healthy long term relationship. But the pain of "damn I wish I had a girlfriend" comes from scarcity that will fuck up your game.

When do you give a girl commitment? I’m with a young girl that I like pretty good. Don’t want things to end but she is always on my case about seeing other girls when I don’t text back and/or go out. I’m not actually seeing other girls, but I told her to just assume I am. This is causing her to pull back which I don’t want. But I also don’t want to commit too early. Any advice?