Selecting mating traits for trait minimums vs maximums

Happy Saturday everyone. I have a lot of following up to do this weekend so if you waiting on me, I appreciate your patience.

That said I wanted to post a quick thought about "establishing minimums" vs "seeking maximums" When it comes to mate selection. Specifically how women select men.

My hypothesis is as follows.

I think that when women are maximizing their long term mate selection (meaning find their ideal guy to be with long term), there are a lot of traits they look for in that selection both subconsciously as well as consciously. Most of what they are aware of (think they want) are actually traits that they are looking to ESTABLISH MINIMUMS for, rather needing a maximum to satisfy them long term.

And then there are hypergamous needs that MUST be maximized for her happiness. Those are mostly subconscious. She may be aware of some of these hypergamous needs, but she will think she is establishing minimum standards when her hypergamous mind actually needs to establish these as a maximum standard.

In practical terms, this looks like this. She does have traits that she selects for that she is aware of. Some of those might be height, facial attractiveness, lean or muscular body, income, resources, etc. But with the things she is aware of, she is mostly trying to establish a minimum.

So she might say she wants a guy who is 6ft on her dating app. But really she just wants a guy who is "tall enough" and big enough for her not to feel bigger then he is. That could be 5'4" in all practicality if she is 5'3". She wants a guy who has a "good job," but what she really needs is a guy having enough money to pay for himself, dates, and live a certain minimal standard for a lifestyle. Facial attractiveness selection just means not below a 3/10. Body attractiveness just means not being obese or having rail skinny and weak arms or whatever she sees as a minimal. And so on.

Where she needs to MAXIMIZE are these 5 areas of hypergamy. A guy must be her 1. best sex, 2. the guy she is most emotionally drawn too, 3. the guy she feels the most secure with, 4. the guy who has the best "dad" qualities, and 5. the guy who she feels would have the best future potential in terms of his loyalty.

Most guys think they have to "be the girls best" in areas where they don't. They just have to meet her minimal standard. They just have to be "fit enough." Or "rich enough." Or "good looking enough".

Where it counts is are you the best sex she has ever had? Does she feel the most intense emotions towards you? Does she feel the safest with you (because you are dangerous to others and ruthless if you have to be, and because of your leadership and capabilities and trustworthiness) when she needs to feel safe or comfort? Do you demonstrate the best qualities that would make you a good father if you had kids together? Does she feel like you have the most amount of loyalty and would be by her side long term, even with her flaws and future flaws with age related decline?

Guys on the internet and most content creators focus on trying to maximize mate qualities that really don't need to be maximized for a getting a good girl who is 10/10 attracted to you. This is because they don't really understand women, and because that builds more anxiety in men. A guy can get anxious and caught up in things that don't matter that much FAR easier. "Am I good looking enough?" "IS my dick big enough" "Am I ripped and muscluar enough?" And so on. And they can feel unworthy because they are 5'8", or because they make 70k per year instead of 150k.

You need to meet minimum requirements in most of these things to get girls to be 10/10 attracted. Do your best to maximize these things FOR YOU, not for girls. I want make money or get a cool car or to looks max and look good because that is for me, not for women.

What makes or breaks women having high desire for me is my game. And my game illustrates the PROMISE of me maximizing her hypergamous needs. And then in the relationship it is actually fulfilling those needs. That is what makes the difference

Just some Saturday thoughts!

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