Quick share here, and one I’m still absorbing but wanted to post while it’s fresh in my mind… A big reason my LTR and I split was a constant battle for power and frame that became exhausting at times. During some coaching calls, Paul tried to help me make the connection that my ex was fighting for perceived power as part of trying to feel safe, however if she could just surrender to the relationship and fall in my frame, she would actually GAIN power in the relationship. Last night I met up with my first European girl I’ve ever gone out with for drinks. She’s followed me on IG for awhile now but every time we tried to connect previously the timing was off. I’d like to share a few things she did that was different than the usual first date : 1. A few days before the date, she asked if I had any specific outfit requests. I decided to have fun with it, told her to send me pictures of the outfits she feels sexiest in and I’d pick my favorite. I chose this little red dress, and man it didn’t disappoint. It was a little gesture of wanting to look good for me, but as much as it put me in a dominant role picking her outfit, it also gave her power of her own. 2. I’ve gotten little gifts like cookies or baked goods from girls after a few dates, but never on the first date. We were meeting at a bar for drinks and after we sat down she said she had a surprise for me. She reaches into her jacket and pulls out a box of whiskey flavored chocolates. For those who know me, I hate chocolate, I’m usually too fitness focused to enjoy it, but coming from her and the way she gave it to me, not gonna lie it was a little special. Another example of how it could be perceived she is being “weak” by getting me a little gift, but in turn she leaned into her femininity which benefited both of us. 3. Her energy was very warm and flirty the whole night, which was a huge turn on. Little things like sticking her tongue out at me after making a joke, putting her hand on my leg, leaning in and putting her head on my shoulder while at the bar. It was such a warm way to act on a first date, and a complete shift from the typical behavior from girls in 2024. I want to make sure I’m driving the point home : by intentionally putting herself in my frame, SHE WAS GAINING POWER.

I came across a video from “Playing With Fire” that slid into my algorithm this morning and the title as catchy enough for me to take the bait : Asking Girls When They Last Got Laid. I’ve watched Alex’s material in the past, and it’s generally pretty neutral and not as sperg as most other dating channels. This is basically a man on the street type video, walking up to random chicks in downtown Miami and asking them the last time they had sex. Now I realize people won’t always respond/report accurately, so we need to take the videos with a grain of salt, but I still couldn’t help but find the video very eye opening. I’d ask all of you guys to give it a watch, it’s only 7mins and brings up some excellent talking points that most RP videos brainwash us into thinking is impossible. Here were my take aways : 1. Not every girl walking the streets is throwing her pussy at multiple guys. Take a listen and see how many girls aren’t very sexually active, and a few even complaining half heartedly about not getting laid enough. 2. When Alex asks where they met their last lay, pay attention to the sources. Very little social media, only 1-2 from dating apps, the majority was SOCIAL CIRCLE. Paul reminds us of this all the time : real life is undefeated in seduction. Notice there weren’t many girls (if any) who said a Chad picked them up at the grocery store and smashed? Most of these girls were getting fucked by guys organically. 3. I was really surprised how many girls had fucked guys in their orbit for YEARS. Maybe I shouldn’t be shocked at this point, but I think the 2 big take aways are playing it cool and being ok with “friends” if you don’t smash, but the elephant in the room : DONT LET YOUR GIRL HAVE GUY FRIENDS AND ORBITERS. It would be great it all these guys were confident men who respected boundaries, but I’d bet most of them were weasels. I’d also be curious how many of these old “friends” were getting action AFTER the girl broke up with a higher value guy…

Good afternoon gentlemen. Im long overdue for a introductory post as I rejoined the group a few months back after consulting with @John Rogalsky and setting up a call with Paul. I know some of you but most names I dont recognize so I'll get into a little backstory but most will be about looking forward along with some accountability posts to follow. I dont want to make this so long that guys dont read so if anybody wants me to elaborate more on any section then I will do a breakout post beyond what I write. In making the most out of this group, I encourage EVERYONE to put it ALL out there when discussing these things. You can't make the most out groups like this if the rest of us dont have the full picture when helping decipher the situation. I get that some may have details they dont want to share, but this group should be judgement free and provide tough love at the same time. Thats what we are all here to do - grow together and crush goals along the way. Looking forward to interacting with everyone. I turned 44 in Sept and got divorced a little over 5 years ago (she initiated but I filed). It was a typical marriage in many aspects. We met in our late 20's at work, seemed to have similar goals and enjoyed the same things (probably a little too much). We were married for almost 9 years and have an awesome daughter who I see every week but is still with her mom most of the time. She will be 12 on Nov 20th. Again, I wont get into details to keep the intro post short, but my ex came from a conservative family in south Mississippi and seemed to lean that way herself. We both worked for Lockheed Martin at the time, and she still does. Throughout the marriage we relocated a few times so she could get a promotion into a few different senior manager spots. I believe this is where things changed. she began to hang out with another woman from work pretty frequently until it turned into an affair of some sort (yes, that's not a typo). Pretty sure that she has been brainwashed by the leftist feminist propaganda on all fronts and she turned into a closet feminist of sorts. They now live together and my daughter spends most of her time there.

This happend recently but I want to discuss it for the future. I don't wish to bury the lead, I couldn't stop the emotional investment on this one, girls a great prospect. A recent first date went well, but then in retrospect I realized I was a bit pushy to get her back to mine, then she kinda just ghosted after the date. After the date, I was still happy with the result despite this so I sent her a text some hours later that she was fun to hangout and would like to see her again, then the ghost. Now, this is the first time I've been ghosted, my plan would currently be to ask her if everythings alright maybe after the weekend or something. My main question of this discussion is, do you calibrate your takeaway with how you messed up, maybe I say that "I might've given the wrong impression, of course I want to have fun but I might've been a bit disrespectful" (I will say it in a nonqualifying way, but maybe it just is qualifying by me even reaching out). The other side of me could just next her and see my other girls, then again I don't want to leave good prospects on the table and maybe I can save this. TLDR; If you mess up a little on a date, do you try-, and how do you try to keep seeing her after she ghosts.

A lot of the recent discussions around the Alpha Mindset course has gotten me curious again, and I’m starting to go through the material a 2nd time. Mod 4 “Neural Behavioral Conditioning” has really struck a chord with me, especially the part where Paul gives the example of military training. In firearms training, when a mistake is made they signal the issue with “MALFUNCTION” and then proceed to amend the mistake. Rinse and repeat, fix then repeat. Last week I broke up with my LTR, and working on my own mindset around the relationship while deciding if either/both of us are capable of a casual relationship. Since watching the module last night, now when facing a thought of “man this sucks”, immediately catch the “malfunction” and tell myself : NO, this sucks FOR HER. And then a few minutes later I might have another though “this is really sad”, but quickly remind myself : NO, this sucks FOR HER. While my ex is a very special girl with a lot of great qualities, I’ve learned about myself this year that no matter what I’m always going to come out on top. No matter how big the setback, I have the grit and ability to set my ego aside in order to experience massive growth. So when I catch myself having a weak moment, I allow my mind to absorb the thought that yes it sucks if she’s going to be out of my life, but I’m the type of man that will always do better. This is why if we inevitably can’t work through this, it really sucks FOR HER, and I’ll continue to sand down my blind spots and become a better, more attractive and higher SMV man. What do you guys think? Do any members do something similar? Do you think I have a good grasp on the video and how to apply it?