20h ago (edited) in General discussion
{SHARE} : The Power Of Femininity.
Quick share here, and one I’m still absorbing but wanted to post while it’s fresh in my mind…
A big reason my LTR and I split was a constant battle for power and frame that became exhausting at times. During some coaching calls, Paul tried to help me make the connection that my ex was fighting for perceived power as part of trying to feel safe, however if she could just surrender to the relationship and fall in my frame, she would actually GAIN power in the relationship.
Last night I met up with my first European girl I’ve ever gone out with for drinks. She’s followed me on IG for awhile now but every time we tried to connect previously the timing was off. I’d like to share a few things she did that was different than the usual first date :
- A few days before the date, she asked if I had any specific outfit requests. I decided to have fun with it, told her to send me pictures of the outfits she feels sexiest in and I’d pick my favorite. I chose this little red dress, and man it didn’t disappoint. It was a little gesture of wanting to look good for me, but as much as it put me in a dominant role picking her outfit, it also gave her power of her own.
2. I’ve gotten little gifts like cookies or baked goods from girls after a few dates, but never on the first date. We were meeting at a bar for drinks and after we sat down she said she had a surprise for me. She reaches into her jacket and pulls out a box of whiskey flavored chocolates. For those who know me, I hate chocolate, I’m usually too fitness focused to enjoy it, but coming from her and the way she gave it to me, not gonna lie it was a little special. Another example of how it could be perceived she is being “weak” by getting me a little gift, but in turn she leaned into her femininity which benefited both of us.
3. Her energy was very warm and flirty the whole night, which was a huge turn on. Little things like sticking her tongue out at me after making a joke, putting her hand on my leg, leaning in and putting her head on my shoulder while at the bar. It was such a warm way to act on a first date, and a complete shift from the typical behavior from girls in 2024. I want to make sure I’m driving the point home : by intentionally putting herself in my frame, SHE WAS GAINING POWER.
Now whether or not this behavior is driven by being from Poland and not raised in the US is a different topic, but it was very revealing considering a lot of recent work I’ve been doing in my coaching calls. Instead of resisting my frame and me having to “work” to bring out her feminine side, she walked into my frame pretty quickly and it made for a great night for BOTH of us.
is this the type of stuff you’ve been talking to me about during our coaching calls, that instead of fighting for power, if women would surrender to the men their dating, they actually get more power? And to take it a step further, when women give up trying to CONTROL a dominant man, do they actually get what they want : to fall into the frame of the guy they desire?
Would love to hear the groups feedback on experiences with these softer types of women. Again it wasn’t so much the behaviors by themselves, but it was to bring that behavior to a first date I’m not use to. We both had a ton of fun, had great sex but most importantly built a genuine connection. In a sense her girl game was complimenting my guy game instead of trying to compete against it.
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{SHARE} : The Power Of Femininity.
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