Seeking advice after a Nice Guy Syndrome incident

With Dan and Brojo's help over the years, I have gained so much more self-confidence in myself and I am immensely grateful for that. However, I had a personal Nice Guy Syndrome incident a few days ago and am looking for some advice.

I work in a retail pharmacy owned by a small hospital, and I was working the cash register momentarily while waiting for my female cashier to arrive.

A fellow hospital employee entered the pharmacy. I was in a good mood and had mistakenly expected a reciprocal friendly attitude from him.

The hospital employee brought some candy to the register to buy, and I said "Oh I haven't seen these in a while."

He responded with "Yeah, me too. If it's not good, I'm going to throw it at your face" in an unfunny and a non-sarcastic tone.

I was taken aback and I said "oh... ...and why would you do that?"

He says "Well, I can't throw it at the girls (the ones who order the candy). That would just be mean. Well, unless YOU identify as a girl, then well..."

I went from friendly customer service mode to being bothered so quickly. Yet, I had the most difficult time standing up for myself and expressing how I truly felt. In my bothered state, I accidentally pressed the wrong button on the cash register.

He then said something like, "wow, now you don't even know how to use the cash register?"

In my shock, I couldn't even say anything (which made this incident even more painful).

My girl cashier finally arrived and took over the transaction.

I went home that night and I became emotional. And I realize that it wasn't the words that he said that hurt.

What hurt was the fact that I had about 2-3 other incidences like these in the recent past, and that this was yet another incident of my inability to express how I truly felt in the moment. I was also upset that I was unable to communicate to him that what he said was not okay with me.

I think my identity with Nice Guy Syndrome and my ties with my Asian culture makes it difficult at times to "not be polite"/"disturb the peace" in the moment. I seem to be thrown off-guard when I'm in a good mood and someone acts disrespectful unexpectedly.

To be clear, my problem is really in these IN THE MOMENT scenarios.

Has anyone here have had trouble expressing your disapproval/anger in the heat of the moment in the past?

How did you get better at letting others know that their behavior was unacceptable in the moment?

How do you handle these situations with strangers/people you are unlikely to interact with again in the future?

Or how would you have handled this professionally?

P.S. After writing all of this, I just remembered that about 6 months ago, I actually did express how I felt IN THE MOMENT about something to my mom (who I love very very much), and we ended up having a Huge argument. It was incredibly unpleasant and painful. However, we ended up talking out the complicated misunderstandings the next day and my relationship with my mom is as good as ever.

I know this situation is different because it is with my mom who I absolutely love, but the fact that I actually expressed how I felt in the moment resulted in the initial unpleasant, painful experience may also be contributing to my issue.

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