Daily Dose of Integrity If you're struggling: get support, ask for help. One of the hardest things in the world for me to do—is to ask for help. I’ve recently added two new members to my team—one to help me with creative administrative tasks and the other to help me with sales. It took me months to work myself up to actually ask them. Then, afterwards, I thought “Why didn't I do this earlier? This makes my life so much better and it makes their life better too!” Every time I've hired a coach, seen a therapist or asked my wife for advice, I always find it insightful. I don’t always agree with their perspectives, but I learned that it is helpful to include other people. If nothing else, just to validate my own ideas and come back to the basics. To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCLQPupQEeM

I am 24, from Czech republic. I am currently working on regaining self respect and decisiveness. I have largely been an actual nice guy when growing up, endlessly giving without expectations or being sour about what I get in return. Just genuinely enjoyed helping my close ones. It was only when I started my last relationship, now of nearly 3 years with a girl that is honestly incompetent, maturity of a teenager and ego as tough as wet tissue paper that I started souring. I have been housing and feeding her, and while surviving her constant tantrums I have put myself into the martyrdom of being her surrogate father basically - the only other choice was making her homeless which I am even now unable to do. This led to me also realizing how bad my family and friends reacted to my setting of boundaries on my time and help, which led down the rabbit hole of realizing that there was always so much bitching and moaning from all those important to me whenever I needed even minor help when growing up. The relationship is in shambles and we broke up temporarily while I still housed her, as am now, during which time she sought the attention of men who "make her feel like a woman" and generally her increasing the abuse and putting me down even more as she tried to rationalize that our lack of chemistry and love is caused by my inferiority to other men. So working on getting past this right now, trying to let go of the 10% of the time my girlfriend was very lovely, and trying to reconnect with my family, friends and hobbies that I all stonewalled due to focusing all my energy on being a "parent" walking on eggshells and constantly using kid gloves for years now.

Hey guys, the video, audio and chat box recordings are now available in the Dropbox folder for yesterday's session. Password has been emailed to you. Big thanks to @Donelle McKinley for allowing us to explore the apparent conflict between Integrity and Relationships - particularly the sense that you must trade off your freedom to have someone else in your life. Extra resources that back up our discussion: - The Building Rapport course is the most relevant to today's discussion. - Feeling trapped? - https://theinspirationallifestyle.com/feeling-trapped-more-freedom/ - Push them away with honesty - https://theinspirationallifestyle.com/seduction-technique-honesty/ NEXT CALL TIME: - Europe: Tues 5th Nov, 7pm UK time (8pm CET) - USA: Tues 5th Nov, 11am PST (2pm EST) - Oceania: Wed 6th Nov, 8am NZ time (Wed 6th Nov, 6am Sydney time) Message or email me if you won't make it and want questions answered, and let me know if you're keen for the hot seat (next is Hemi). Zoom link: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/82202610772

Daily Dose of Integrity The “Pick Your Battles” narrative is interpreted by Nice Guys as don't fight any battles at all. They use this narrative to make it sound as if they're being kind of philosophical: “You know, some things aren't worth it. You got to choose the things that are important.” But, if you watch their behaviour, what you'll see is that they don't find anything that's important. They don't find anything to fight for and it's all just a glaze. It's all just a mask that they use to look noble when they're actually being cowards. The other main reason that this kind of men, afraid of their wives and their own behaviour, takes place is the foregone conclusion that being assertive will definitely create what they call “negativity”, negative emotions, bad results. This, of course, is by default not worth the effort. They think it's harmful to be assertive. They think it's just so not worth trying. Why would you throw money away on something that isn't valuable? Why would you assert yourself if it only harms the relationship? To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here: https://youtu.be/WvK9iH0G7tY

Daily Dose of Integrity What's the cure to being a Nice Guy with an Avoidant attachment style? Well, there are a number of different approaches you can take, depending on how this manifests for you. One thing to do is to step back from the spotlight if you're the entertainer type. If you're the kind of a person who always tries to steal the glory, be the funniest one and put on a show—if you know that when you show up, it's show time—start quietening down a little bit. Let somebody else be the one who tells the jokes. Let somebody else be the one who impresses everybody. Let somebody else win. Just try to get comfortable with not impressing people. Get comfortable at not making people like you and be at peace when people keep you at the distance. Start being one of the crowd rather than the one on the stage. You know, for me, this meant to stop trying to be funny all the time. There are other things I was doing—I was also very impressive at work, and I'd play in a band, etc. But for me, the big one was to just stop telling jokes all the fucking time, like I'm Chandler from Friends. To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here: https://youtu.be/wgHnTq_JlRE