It’s time to get a little confrontational and uncomfortable… Being in the world of self-development for nearly 20 years, I’ve seen it all. There are those who binge on books and courses, putting almost none of it into action but feeling like they’re making progress because of all the new information in their heads. There are those who worship this guru or that, becoming devotees of a single methodology, to the point of abandoning all reason and sanity. There are the keyboard warriors who spout advice and criticism online all day long, but are hypocrites who don’t model any honorable behaviour themselves. Yes, there are plenty of frauds and posers and wannabes and deluded souls in the self development space. I’ve spent time being each of these types myself, so I’m not judging! But today there’s just one I want to talk to, one type I’ve never been… The freebie addict. read about it here.. if you dare!! https://theinspirationallifestyle.com/are-you-a-self-help-freebie-addict/

I know my courage and bravery have been showing up on their own since commtiting to Brojo.... and I know I have consciously, at timers, courted them .... I think I made some notes of things to show this in behavioral terms... but, I cannot recall the others right now.. But right now, I want to recorded yesterdays win.... I did an MRI scan ! Which may not sound a lot to some, but I am intensely claustrophobic (and have a fear of heights, I have flown once in the last 20 years)... I had actully been in an MRI 2 times before, but that was in my 2 year illness, when I was a walking skeleton (I barely fit in an MRI tube now days !) and I was so out of it in agony, and full of drugs, I did not really notice the procedures .... I fricken noticed it yesterday ! all 45 minutes(felt like 2or 3 hours!) of it.... but, after 1 false start and a panic, .. I got back in and coped with the cascade of passing emotions and sensations , and the bloody noise it made! So, that's quite a win for me !

Recently, I was looking at some of the more popular search terms. The one that piqued my interest was this one: “How to be confident in my decisions?” I know from my experience as a coach that, in asking this question, people are really meaning to ask this: “How can I be confident before I make a decision?” When people say ‘confidence in my decisions’, they often mean decision that they're anticipating to make, not the one they've already made—and that is the problem. You can't really be confident in a decision that you haven’t made, because you're not clairvoyant. You don't know how it's actually going to go. You might even have a lot of experience and find yourself in a very familiar situation. However, all of this still doesn't guarantee the outcome; you still cannot know that a given situation will unfold in the same way this time as it did before. If you want to be confident in your decision-making then you need to make decisions. You need to actually follow through, no matter how imperfect the idea might be or what kind of mistake it leads to, because confidence in decision-making doesn't come from making good decisions. Confidence comes from making decisions good: it's how you react after the decision is made—that builds confidence.

At some point, people realize that most of their suffering in life comes from self-sabotage. The next question, of course, is how do I stop sabotaging myself? It's a very difficult question to answer because it’s such a subtle underlying system that does this. One of the key things to keep in mind is that self-sabotage is really self-protection. It's not like your brain really wants you to have a horrible life, it's just doing what it thinks is best to protect you from what it thinks is dangerous. So, have a look at all the times that you've sabotaged yourself: maybe you threw a relationship down the toilet; maybe you destroyed a career; maybe you just aren't very good to your body. Have a look at what you might be protecting yourself from. Is it discomfort? Is it intimacy? Is it commitment? Is it uncovering the question: “What should I do with my life?” Once you figure out what you're hiding from, maybe you'll stop running away from it.

I did a post a while back about a meme that has been going around. It was about people being tired of being good to people who are ungrateful. Whatever I said at the time was a little controversial, I guess. A lot of people got upset. I was basically saying, “Well, if you're only doing a good deed to get gratitude, then you're actually people-pleasing, so you're not really being a good person. One of the common complaints I got was this: “But some people are just ungrateful and I’m sick of it. You have to take into account that they're just not giving back, and they're not respecting you.” All these comments make me raise the question: “Why do you KEEP giving to them?” You could be giving to 8 billion people in the world. You could, at least, be giving to the few dozen or 100 that live in your area. Why do you keep giving to somebody who's ungrateful? That's a you problem, not a them problem. The first time they’re were ungrateful, you didn't see that coming. The second time you already knew they were like this, so why aren't you refocusing on someone who reciprocates?