Interesting conversations with my kids. With my son yesterday ‘How are you feeling mate with the pain - sorry I don’t ask you that. ’…. You don’t have to ask me that Dad - Mum does it all the bloody time. ‘This must frustrate you. The whole thing with being at home must be frustrating - I bet you miss all your mates. How that makes you feel must be worse than being in pain,? Not much of a reaction from him at the time, but he opened up later in the day and included me in some Lego time, which he hadn’t done for weeks. Can’t expect too much from him with respect to sharing how he feels - considering his role model up to now. @Daniel Munro Cheers Dan was great to feel some connection with him. Conversation still felt controlled, but it’s a start. And with my Daughter today on the drive to school apologising to her for being stuck in my head with thoughts and not feeling well when I picked her up yesterday. ‘That’s ok Dad we all get like that and feel like shit and don’t always know why - I feel like that a lot and don’t say anything - you are just the same as everyone, but it still sucks. I know it had nothing to do with me’… At 17 she can express Empathy better than me at 51. Hope she doesn’t feel she needs to try and manage my feelings though. Probably need to give credit where credits due for how she has turned out - to my Wife. It’s an interesting concept to me interacting with others from their perspective, rather than from my own self-centredness. Allows the space in response to choose not to follow the automatic victim pattern but to accept what’s in front of me. At least that’s the overanalysed theory in my Nice Guy mind. Now to turn that back on myself and show empathy for my behaviour in the Now, rather than judge myself on a past or future imaginary story which only exists in my mind.

Hey guys, the video, audio and chat box recordings are now available in the Dropbox folder for yesterday's session. Password has been emailed to you. Thanks to @Chris Thompson for being transparent about the struggles he has with being judgmental, both toward himself and others, and allowing us to explore the dark controlling side of nice guy syndrome and how this relates to worrying what others think of us. Extra resources that back up our discussion: - The Shameless & Unbreakable course is probably the most relevant for a deeper dive into this topic. - Nice Guy Narcissism - Nice guys are secretly judgmental - Webinar on being judgmental Message or email me if you won't make it and want questions answered, and let me know if you're keen for the hot seat (next is Andrew). Zoom link: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/82202610772 NEXT CALL TIME:

I stood up for my boundaries and my self respect, and my boss feels that all i did was make a situation worse. I work at a pub as a cellar man doing tasks like line cleaning and counting in the delivery. On Halloween the pub ran a fancy dress karaoke night that I took part in. Had a great time. End of the night i go to say goodnight to the landlady and her fella, and they are being yelled at by a drunk regular. I have been asked by them to not get involved so I stand a little to the side and wait for an opportunity to say goodbye. I seem to have been too close however the drunk then rounded on me. As I was told bot to provoke anything I stood still and let the fool vent his speen, when he ran out of steam said goodnight and made to leave. The bar manager then said to me that I should have backed down and the landlady concurred. Many if my personal confidence issue stem from school bulling and have promised myself to not allow that situation happen again. I feel that backing away would just encouraged the drunk to continue abusing me and the landlady etc. am I wrong in this? This is a new attitude for me and I want to be confident I didn’t overstep. I would appreciate your feedback.

The new course is ready for you! Members of the Brotherhood and 1:1 coaching get free early access to my brand new course: Psychopathic Confidence: Unleashing Your Shadow's Power I’ve just put the finishing touches on it. I would love it if you could test drive it, give me feedback on anything you’d like changed or added, and leave a review. I've emailed a coupon to you all privately. SPECIAL BONUS: Anyone who signs up for a $1 trial membership to the Brotherhood before the end of November will get this course included in their trial!

I'm both a long term and short term investor in equities. I've done well and nothing to complain about in that department. However, I didn't know what an emotional flashback was, till recently. I've discovered a pattern of mine. Right after, I've done well and everything is great. I'll self sabotage and enter into risky transactions. And often give back part of the profits I've had made earlier. There's no rational reason, except that I enter into flashback mode and refeel the emotional distress constantly while the transaction's loss is getting bigger and bigger. Sometime, this is over 2-4 weeks. Actually, when the transaction is profitable, I don't take the profits. While, I let the losses get bigger. Which then trigger the inner critic's insulting and shame, guild invoking dialogue. Then enters toxic shame and spoils the rest of the day. Its like being struck in a time-loop. Have been doing this self-punishing for a few months now. Shows there's more healing to be done. And I'm struck in the same place for several years now. I also realize I have double binds in important areas of my life due not taking bold decisions and talking honestly.