Empathy · Brojo: The Integrity Army

Empathy

Interesting conversations with my kids. With my son yesterday ‘How are you feeling mate with the pain - sorry I don’t ask you that. ’…. You don’t have to ask me that Dad - Mum does it all the bloody time.

‘This must frustrate you. The whole thing with being at home must be frustrating - I bet you miss all your mates. How that makes you feel must be worse than being in pain,?

Not much of a reaction from him at the time, but he opened up later in the day and included me in some Lego time, which he hadn’t done for weeks. Can’t expect too much from him with respect to sharing how he feels - considering his role model up to now.

@Daniel Munro

Cheers Dan was great to feel some connection with him. Conversation still felt controlled, but it’s a start.

And with my Daughter today on the drive to school apologising to her for being stuck in my head with thoughts and not feeling well when I picked her up yesterday. ‘That’s ok Dad we all get like that and feel like shit and don’t always know why - I feel like that a lot and don’t say anything - you are just the same as everyone, but it still sucks. I know it had nothing to do with me’… At 17 she can express Empathy better than me at 51. Hope she doesn’t feel she needs to try and manage my feelings though. Probably need to give credit where credits due for how she has turned out - to my Wife.

It’s an interesting concept to me interacting with others from their perspective, rather than from my own self-centredness. Allows the space in response to choose not to follow the automatic victim pattern but to accept what’s in front of me. At least that’s the overanalysed theory in my Nice Guy mind. Now to turn that back on myself and show empathy for my behaviour in the Now, rather than judge myself on a past or future imaginary story which only exists in my mind.

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