It’s time to get a little confrontational and uncomfortable… Being in the world of self-development for nearly 20 years, I’ve seen it all. There are those who binge on books and courses, putting almost none of it into action but feeling like they’re making progress because of all the new information in their heads. There are those who worship this guru or that, becoming devotees of a single methodology, to the point of abandoning all reason and sanity. There are the keyboard warriors who spout advice and criticism online all day long, but are hypocrites who don’t model any honorable behaviour themselves. Yes, there are plenty of frauds and posers and wannabes and deluded souls in the self development space. I’ve spent time being each of these types myself, so I’m not judging! But today there’s just one I want to talk to, one type I’ve never been… The freebie addict. read about it here.. if you dare!! https://theinspirationallifestyle.com/are-you-a-self-help-freebie-addict/

I just watched the "what next" blog video. Hmmmmm... hits me that one of the things I have always wondered is why I could not seem to practice all the self help, motivation, good stuff I learned in books and trainings. I have wondered if it is my ADHD, brain damage from my drinking days? (counter evidence exists to the second, I could never really apply and grow learnings as a kid.... unless I was really interested and it had to do with art, psychology, or words, so ADHD seems more plausible). I think after watching the vid, that (and this links to my last 5 years learning about trauma) I just never had a safe base..... I had not ever had a secure or safe base. I was born into chaos and violence and separation, and I never was given by my care givers a secure base level security to move out from. Make some sense to me of a life time issue!!! I like the way the vid works with all the categories and frames of growth we are using in Brojo, and I am well familiar with Maslow's hierarchy of needs, so it makes sense how I need my finances in order to be able to do the higher level courage and meaning work ... the fact is I do not, and that gives me pause for thought !..... I realise I need to create a base, but I am finally making progress in my courage and bravery, so I will keep at that too,,,,, I won't put it all on hold until I sort my home and money, but I see I need to pay more attention to my foundation. I did almost have a foundation 5 years ago, then I had a 2 year horrific illness and lost my job, my home, my partner of the time, and have ended up broke and flatting at 57,,, I recognise there is work here for me to do, and I am going to step back a bit to pay attention to foundational levels, as well as moving forward in growing myself, As well as Maslow's hierarchy of needs, Erickson's stage theory is a frame work that has helped me.... I realised when I first read that, that I never progressed in the developmental tasks beyond child hood, or at best adolescence,,.... and I have thought about it a lot, and how it frames the growing up, individuating process as well as Maslow, just in a more step by step guided manner.... again, I see this in the video ,.... Thanks for posting this Dan, I keep finding I am getting piece by piece a fully rounded "growing up" process here !

I know my courage and bravery have been showing up on their own since commtiting to Brojo.... and I know I have consciously, at timers, courted them .... I think I made some notes of things to show this in behavioral terms... but, I cannot recall the others right now.. But right now, I want to recorded yesterdays win.... I did an MRI scan ! Which may not sound a lot to some, but I am intensely claustrophobic (and have a fear of heights, I have flown once in the last 20 years)... I had actully been in an MRI 2 times before, but that was in my 2 year illness, when I was a walking skeleton (I barely fit in an MRI tube now days !) and I was so out of it in agony, and full of drugs, I did not really notice the procedures .... I fricken noticed it yesterday ! all 45 minutes(felt like 2or 3 hours!) of it.... but, after 1 false start and a panic, .. I got back in and coped with the cascade of passing emotions and sensations , and the bloody noise it made! So, that's quite a win for me !

New full length video out today! This is an excerpt from my course: Nice Guy Syndrome Recovery & Social Confidence Building This video looks at the importance of embracing emotions without shame to foster genuine connections and build your assertiveness. Societal conditioning often leads men to suppress emotions like anger, sadness, and fear, which are essential for motivation, courage, and personal growth. Emotions should be expressed verbally and rationally, rather than being suppressed or acted upon impulsively. Let's explore a practical approach to emotional expression, encouraging men to identify and articulate their emotions regularly. Watch the full video here: https://theinspirationallifestyle.com/why-you-must-respect-your-feelings/

A guy asked me what's the difference between the “fake it til you make it” attitude and “being more authentically confident”, since being more confident often feels like being fake. There are a couple of key differences. When you fake it, you’re doing something that you don't actually align with, in terms of your core values. For example, you're pretending to be someone else or you keep doing things to impresses other people. However, you don't feel that these actions are genuine to who you really are. Similarly, when you are doing something new, you may be pretending to feel confident when you don’t really feel that way. Being more authentic doesn’t require you to be fake in any way. First off, all you've got to do is to be aligned with your core values, more than usual. Just because it's unfamiliar, doesn't mean it's fake! Odds are, you've been fake your whole life and now you're finally being real. At the same time, don't pretend that you feel confident doing it. You can admit to being nervous or unsure of yourself. You can show that this is unfamiliar. There's no reason to pretend.