A little late posting this but something I think we can all learn from. This isn’t a post to shit on most guys, or to circle jerk about how masculinity is dying in the west blah blah blah. I really wanted to write this to point out how easy it is to quietly lead with power and authority that other people will pick up instantly. A few weekends ago I was out of town at a wedding, college friends of my LTR were tying to knot. My LTR and I have been on and off for about 3.5 years, and while I’ve heard lots of stories, I’ve never met any of her college friends, but I knew it would be a fun weekend. Keep in mind the men I spent the weekend with attending the wedding weren’t your typical losers. My LTR is a doctor, so most in attendance were doctors, nurses, surgeons and other specialists with fancy titles. A couple dorks don’t get me wrong, but I’d consider the majority in attendance high achievers. There weren’t many single people, not even sure if I could name one, and being a nerd in my own right on romance, attraction and human behavior I cant help but people watch at these types of events. Maybe it’s an insecurity, maybe it’s because I’m particularly hard on myself so with no surprise I’d be hard on others, but I’m always observing those around me. One of my biggest findings from the weekend was the LACK of men LEADING their relationships and the interactions with their women. My guess would be that most of these relationships have settled in. Some married, some have kids, and probably natural for most people to get comfortable, but I was a little surprised at the absence of masculine men. Most guys were out of shape, but maybe typical for guys in their late 30s early 40s. The biggest shock for me was the dynamic and framework from these guys and the women they’ve chosen to spend their lives with. There were only a few couples that seems unhealthy making snarky back handed uncomfortable comments with each other, but even the seemingly good relationships seemed to lack any desire.

Does anyone have experiences or advice about a suspected covert narcissistic woman, particularly in the love bombing phase? How to tell if it’s genuine desire or love bombing? Is there anything I can do or say to get a better understanding and read this person? Thanks in advance

We have recently reached 400 members! I want to see us get to 2000 by the end of the year. (So tell your friends and share the info to guys who might need it!) But with an increase of members, it is time to lay down some ground rules. 1. Don't be an asshole. Treat each other with respect. Tough love is fine. Some argument is cool. But handle it like men who are in the same tribe. 2. Be a real person. I completely understand how some guys don't want to use their real names. But you have to have something on your profile to indicate that you are a person with the right intentions, and not some weirdo or spammer. If your profile has a fake name and nothing in it, myself or my staff will have to verify that you are a real person to allow you to participate. 3. SPAM and SOLICITATION: Spam posts or solicitations in DM's will result in a direct banning from the group. I see doing this sort of thing without having asked or talked to me first as disrespectful to me and the other members here. If anyone solicits you via DM, please notify me so I can have it taken care of. That said, I do support your success. I just can't endorse everyone's product or service. If you do have something you would like to promote, just DM me. We'll talk about it and we can decide how to appropriately do that. 4. Posting Guidelines: First, POST STUFF! PARTICIPATE! This forum is only as good as YOU GUYS make it! That said, the purpose of this forum is improvement in the areas of inner game, relationships and dating life, and personal goals (success and entrepreneurship, fitness, etc). Share your stories! Ask questions! Post anything relevant to these areas. If you are posting something that isn't really relevant, it could be removed, so just keep that in mind. 5. Hierarchy: Mastermind and Elite coaching program members, you always have priority as I work with you directly and regularly as a part of those programs. Tag me in your posts, or post in the "mastermind" section, and I will be sure to give you that priority. If you are here but NOT active in a coaching program, DM me so we can find out if you are a good fit.

This is my first post here, and is a repost from Paul's latest video on "When sex goes down in a relationship..." I'm reposting at Paul's request, as he wants further discussion on the topic. Here goes: Paul, I have to say this video is probably hard to hear for many men, but very necessary and true. I hope men will set aside their ego & really look logically at this content & accept that their woman probably won't ever tell him what she's thinking, but I guarantee she is. That being said, I'd like to bring up a point that I've done many years of anecdotal research, if you will, as I have asked many women the following question. "Do you still remember your 'first kiss'? Which in womanese is a euphemism for their first sexual experience. I got the idea of even asking this question from my mother, of all people, from what she told me many years ago. She opined when I was a teenager (some 40 years ago) that a woman NEVER forgets her 'first kiss'. So, over the years, I have a tendency to ask lots of women about their 'first kiss' just as a opinion poll about whether or not my mother was correct, or if it was just in her head. I have gotten a few responses like: "yes, and it was a terrible experience". But most women say, "Yes, I'll never forget him". Or something to that effect. What I find really interesting is that when I ask the question, I can visibly see that they are mentally taking themselves back in time, and their micro expressions are that of fondness or overall a positive experience. Now that I've set up the situation, I'll get to the point of this comment. Almost every 'modern' relationship a man attempts to have with a woman, who is most likely not a virgin when they meet, is going to have to overcome this hurdle, which is daunting, and he'll likely have to become a sexual tyrannosaurus to genuinely overcome her 'first kiss'. And you are correct, the majority of becoming that impressive lover, mostly comes out of the bedroom. Actually, IMHO, the bedroom & her enthusiasm would be the gauge from which to judge if you are doing the job of creating sexual tension in her mind. And are being her 'sexual best'.

I’m going on a date this Friday. She’s the friend of a plate I had for many years, knows entirely too much about the sexual history I had with her friend back in the day (she would brag), and (this might be all in my head) might see me as a bit of the playboy character I acted up to get away with what I now see as self-doubt. (I got laid, but not always for the right reasons. Recovering people pleaser realizing that I wasn’t some “natural” all along) I rarely use social media, but I recently posted a picture from a wedding. She reached out immediately, and I escalated quickly. Now, we have a date lined up. Here is the problem: I’m ALREADY too much in my head, I can tell. I’m not being outcome-independent; I keep seeing her picture and wishing it would go well. Hard to know if it is because I have convinced myself that this is the kind of girlfriend I want to have going forward (no way of knowing any of this, but I see her as stable, boring in the right way, repressed girl with a religious background that just wants to be tossed around), or if it is because I know that even if I could lay enough game to get her that night (which I can) its everything else that stresses me out (where I am in life, how much time I can devote to an ongoing thing before I have to choose myself, whether it being authentic or not) This past year, I’ve done the online dating thing to kill time, got laid out of boredom or what I saw as a natural progression, and kept plates for 4-6 months, but nothing I didn’t know from the get-go would be temporary. Never any cold approach (working up the courage / just don't care), and definitely no one from my past. In my many years in red-pilled spaces, this is perhaps the second time that I’ve ever taken the time to write about women, as it wasn’t why I was drawn here. But coming out of a divorce, deep depression, and documenting my growth, I’m at the point in my life where I’m ready to both date intentionally (for my sake) and lead like the man that I am, knowing I wasn’t crazy for feeling the ways I was.