I’m going on a date this Friday. She’s the friend of a plate I had for many years, knows entirely too much about the sexual history I had with her friend back in the day (she would brag), and (this might be all in my head) might see me as a bit of the playboy character I acted up to get away with what I now see as self-doubt. (I got laid, but not always for the right reasons. Recovering people pleaser realizing that I wasn’t some “natural” all along) I rarely use social media, but I recently posted a picture from a wedding. She reached out immediately, and I escalated quickly. Now, we have a date lined up. Here is the problem: I’m ALREADY too much in my head, I can tell. I’m not being outcome-independent; I keep seeing her picture and wishing it would go well. Hard to know if it is because I have convinced myself that this is the kind of girlfriend I want to have going forward (no way of knowing any of this, but I see her as stable, boring in the right way, repressed girl with a religious background that just wants to be tossed around), or if it is because I know that even if I could lay enough game to get her that night (which I can) its everything else that stresses me out (where I am in life, how much time I can devote to an ongoing thing before I have to choose myself, whether it being authentic or not) This past year, I’ve done the online dating thing to kill time, got laid out of boredom or what I saw as a natural progression, and kept plates for 4-6 months, but nothing I didn’t know from the get-go would be temporary. Never any cold approach (working up the courage / just don't care), and definitely no one from my past. In my many years in red-pilled spaces, this is perhaps the second time that I’ve ever taken the time to write about women, as it wasn’t why I was drawn here. But coming out of a divorce, deep depression, and documenting my growth, I’m at the point in my life where I’m ready to both date intentionally (for my sake) and lead like the man that I am, knowing I wasn’t crazy for feeling the ways I was.

I'm opening up a can of worms on this one. So please flow me lol. Let's talk about perception, relationships and our ego and our minds or minds of girls we date. I know that when choosing a partner, who views us as the best that she can do, this has everything to do with her subjective view of us. We show up having done and continuing to do the work, money, looks, game, frame ext... Then choose someone who in her mind sees us as the best in her mind, best she has had or feels she can ever get. Jumping topics. The ego. Our sense of self. We talk about having a ego investment, or ego protection. As I understood it our true ego is our skills, talents and ability. This can be our sex game, our leadership skills and a host of other skills. Jumping ship again. Let's talk about mushrooms for a moment. I was watching some videos on mushrooms. I'll link them below. During the video it talks about the different stages of "the trip". But the part that really got my attention is how it gave many people a different perspective, and when they integrate the information ,it changed people's lives. They talk about letting go of the ego. A ego death so to speak. @Paul Benjamin this is where I have questions. How can one kill the ego with out the drugs,.or gain insights into yourself simmaler to that of taking a mushroom.#1. #2 can you give a small discretion on how people use mushrooms to actual change there mind to live a life of that leads to taking action that leads to good results. Therapy guided ECT... It seems that much of life is a perception. A story we tell our self, our frame of mind that can change our septs we take for better or worse. The mind is such a interesting and powerful thing. One could almost say devine. Our minds are the driving force to everything we do or don't do. And when it comes to mating and implementing game, we littlerly change the perception and our choose people to be in our life based on there positive perception of us. It over powers objectivness. The subjective and objective worlds meet and work together. We show up in the world being our ojectivly best self, then persuade, and choose people that see us in such a good light or chose not to date those that don't .

How many guys here have been through the divorce machine?