So I’ve been working on this for a few days while getting into my meditation and focus. To say that it’s a way of grieving only hits the surface. My wife and I started calling his old workshop as The Groove Workshop. The next thing I want to get done is a table for a piano. Music is where I’ve really been and really enjoying the groove. lol.

So today I started a kind of personal therapy with someone who is also a former addict and has been guiding people like me who are searching for themselves for the past 15 years. We had our first conversation, which overall went well, where I introduced myself as I am today and who I aspire to become, along with what I believe is holding me back, at least from my perspective. One thing I know about myself is that once I decide on something, I go all the way with it. It’s like my superpower, and it has been with me for as long as I can remember. However, this also limits me because I tend to get frustrated, disappointed, or fail to enjoy the journey since I focus mainly on the desired outcome and am willing to sacrifice quite a lot for it. It doesn’t matter whether the goal is small or large – my approach is always the same: all in for the goal. I think I need to manage this better, allow myself to be more flexible when necessary, or, as I’ve been told here in the community, be much more forgiving towards myself. At the end of the session, he asked me to write down daily what frustrated me and what I’m grateful for each day. So today, my frustration came mostly from returning home to a messy house, my daughter causing trouble before bedtime, and not having time alone with my partner. Today, I’m grateful that I’m healthy, my kids and family are healthy, that I’m determined to become a better person and willing to be open to the world to achieve that, and that I’m building self-confidence every day. Of course, I’m also grateful that I’ve been weed-free for a month and a week now, which is amazing. It’s Thursday night in Israel, and I’m about to go to bed because I’m out of energy for the week. I’ve attached a link to a song whose lyrics I deeply connect with. I hope you have Spotify. https://open.spotify.com/track/0v9RvGFYslguejByMf7zp1?si=WMUC8c0XScSNbulNBdPrnw Good night and love to all.