8d ago (edited) in 💰 Rich Dad
⚠️ IMPORTANT: The ART of GIVING FEEDBACK 🗣️
As we are diving deep into this incredible new practice and training on quite a tight schedule to start with, it is important to me, as a dedicated coach to coaches, to speak to something I keep seeing underestimated:
The ART OF GIVING & RECEIVING FEEDBACK
It is often expected for trainees to simply have mastered that skill of feedback already, but most of us haven't ever had a training on the art of feedback.
Have you? Whats your level of understanding about skillful feeback? As if this was taught in schools (it should though, just like coaching and sales 🤩)
The training setting suggested often goes something like this:
🤼 practice for 15min, 2 min for feedback then switch roles.
Even though this ratio might make sense at some point way down the road when trainee is aquainted with the basics and coach and trainee know each other,
it really isn't helpful whatsoever in the beginning of learning a new skill, not for the one training AND not for the other as it puts alot of pressurea on the poor sparing buddy, who likely is also just starting with this new skill.
❌ Feedback isn't advice.
Too often feedback is put right next to advice. Too many people think that feedback is just telling another your "honest" opinion, no holding back, thinking we know whats best and right for them.
(refrain from giving advice, instead make a suggestion or an invitation)
What feedback really is:
✅ Feedback is a form of COACHING!!
You see, when we have an opinion about the other, we may wanna check in with them first about their own intentions & reflections.
As the observer, you are the coach to the coache on the training seat. Make sure you and them know what they want to focus on specifically in this practice, frame the feedback and reflections around this intention primarily.
Ask them first
1️⃣ "How did that feel for you?", "What did you like about your performance? In regards to your intention specifically?"
2️⃣ "What felt a little off?"
3️⃣ "What will you try to improve next time?"
4️⃣ "How will you make sure that you will accomplish the improvement?"
All of this in regards of their personal training intention. What was the objective for the practice exactly? Make the reflection in relation to that!
This way you can already get a clear picture of how aware they are about themselves, giving you the possibility to praise them for their awareness and self-reflection, instead of just dumping it onto them, which might land less powerfully in their being.
➡️ Now you can ask them if its ok for you to share your observations , they will say yes and will thus be so much more open already to hear what you have to say.
Now again you don't just want to "tell them", instead you are offering them your p.o.v. and you should be totally ok for them to take it or leave it (#non-attachement).
And as in any learning process for it to be most effective, leave them on an encouraging note, with somthing you really liked about the practice (if possible).
We call it "The Sandwich Technique" (1 positive observation, 1 constructive observation, 1 task and 1 positive word)
It has been proven (and I think all of us can immediatly relate) that 1 negative comment/review/feedback, can damage someones confidence hugely, where as a positve comment/feedback/compliment might likely take at least 10 honest repetitions for them to increase someones confidence.
And here is THE OTHER SIDE of the feedback picture:
The RECEIVING, which is a skill in itself.
Often times we are not aware that we have full controll over which feedback we want to take and which to leave.
We forget that we can try it on for test, and then decide whether we want to keep improving upon it, or choose a different flavour.
The skill of compassion and understanding can help as the receiver of bad feedback and advice, by knowing that the other person may simply not have been aware of how to be skillful about it in that moment.
What are your thought and experience around the art of feedback?
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⚠️ IMPORTANT: The ART of GIVING FEEDBACK 🗣️
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