Introduction and question about casual sex. · Brojo: The Integrity Army

Introduction and question about casual sex.

Hi, I just joined the group. So I'll take the chance to introduce myself and ask my first question all at once:

My name is Calogero and come from Italy but live in the UK. I've been struggling with nice guy syndrome for most of my life.

I was listening to Dan podcast about what is self confidence and how to work on it. At some point he lists all the habits that lower self confidence and among them there is casual sex.

Now, I believe there is nothing bad with 2 consenting adults having sex also if it doesn't lead to a relationship. I feel attraction for women I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with and while I'm single and honest I believe there's nothing bad about pursuing casual relationships with them.

In this case it's not treated as a way to getting high or short term gratification but as a way to explore myself and my sexuality as in the past I didn't have much chance to do that.

I believe it can be compared to sweets: everyone likes them, if you binge on them that's bad, if you care about nutrition but every now and them treat yourself to a treat that's good. I think it's even better than avoiding sweets at all because it shows you have control over it and don't deny yourself of a treat when it's healthy to do so.

I wanted to say that because I don't like moralism or categorizing things as bad disregarding the context. pursuing casual sex for getting value or to get high on short term gratification is a thing, pursuing casual sex as a pleasurable experience you have control over is another. It's actually a good way of knowing yourself but apart from that I wanted just to underline the fact there is nothing bad with it even tho I know a meaningful relationship is way better.

That's my perspective. I welcome anyone who want to discuss it to reply.

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