Forgotten father · Brojo: The Integrity Army

Forgotten father

I don't know how relevant this is. But my Son(15) just told me that he's not coming to my house tonight for the weekend. Which he does the majority of the time(not come that is). I never know when I'm going to see him and I never know if I can plan to do things that weekend or not till the lastminute. But besides the inconvenience, it's really about how his family makes me feel. I'm just a doormat. They will decide whether they're coming or not, and they will decide when they're coming, and the Mum gives the children that choice and I'm just left here hoping and waiting unknowingly. All I want to do is to tell him to not come anymore, because I'm tired of the heart wrenching feelings. It feels like I'm a lastminute thing that he might come to, if he feels like it. And him and his family just plays games with my heart and he's allowed to. Doesn't even have the decency to ever ring me and tell me. If I was treating another adult in this way my behavior would be called out and looked at and brought to attention, and I would have to be manipulative and unaware to do that to someone. But because he's my Son I have to have compassion and consideration, which I've always had, and just be messed around by him and his Mum. I assume I'm not putting up enough boundaries. But either way 3 more years and he'll be an adult and he already doesn't want to come to my house. Well that's what it feels like. Notice I say 'their' house, 'his' family, 'his' house or 'home' when referring to his Mums house, and 'my' house when I'm referring to my house(which should be his other house or his other home), and 'your' family when I'm talking to him about his Mums family, and 'my' family when I'm talking about his family on this side. His mother has wanted it separate like this for years. And I've just slowly accepted it until now it is like this. There's no reason for me to just be a piece of rubbish on the side.

I don't know if this is the right place for this. Don't where else to go.

Any perspectives would be appreciated

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