True Self · End People Pleasing

True Self

you said something at the start of the class tonight which has left me feeling compassionately about some old friendships. I wrote in The Great Purge about a friend’s response to the changes she’s witnessed in me through my journey in finding my authentic self, and essentially that she feels that I’ve “lost myself”. I felt upset by this lack of acceptance from a good friend when I feel like I’m only just now finding myself!

Tonight you said that being a people pleaser and adopting behaviours that allow one to fit-in doesn’t allow people to fall in love with your true self. I see this to be true of the people who I will meet in the future, but also feel it is true of friends who have known “me” a long time…now that they’re getting to see the “I” version of me they don’t recognize it. In a way, I misled the people who befriended my people-pleasing persona, and seeing me depart from that persona must really appear to them like I am abandoning myself.

The friendship may still not have a future, at least not one of deep connections, but this frame is helping me temper the anger I was feeling about not being accepted for my unique self.

Thank you!

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