@Bruce Sanguin you said something at the start of the class tonight which has left me feeling compassionately about some old friendships. I wrote in The Great Purge about a friend’s response to the changes she’s witnessed in me through my journey in finding my authentic self, and essentially that she feels that I’ve “lost myself”. I felt upset by this lack of acceptance from a good friend when I feel like I’m only just now finding myself! Tonight you said that being a people pleaser and adopting behaviours that allow one to fit-in doesn’t allow people to fall in love with your true self. I see this to be true of the people who I will meet in the future, but also feel it is true of friends who have known “me” a long time…now that they’re getting to see the “I” version of me they don’t recognize it. In a way, I misled the people who befriended my people-pleasing persona, and seeing me depart from that persona must really appear to them like I am abandoning myself. The friendship may still not have a future, at least not one of deep connections, but this frame is helping me temper the anger I was feeling about not being accepted for my unique self. Thank you!

https://vimeo.com/1030986899?share=copy#t=0

In further sitting with the discussion towards the end of the session yesterday, I felt that this enthusiasm/caring also be especially hard in adult years when one wants to share who they essentially are or what they are doing and are met with the "that's nice" comment and a complete refusal to talk about it. It is very negating and makes further contact difficult without people pleasing them.