Could My Mother’s Final Words Be Exactly What You Need?

Gentlemen, I woke up today with something on my heart. Heavy... on my heart.

Like you, I've been struggling to check off all of the boxes – holidays, travel, gifts, expectations – the ones that have been put on you and, the heaviest of them all, the ones you've put on yourself.

If I had to grade my performance recently, I'd give it a C-.

But this got me thinking about something my mother shared with me in her final days.

My mother, Donna, lost her battle with cancer two years ago, and in the days leading up to her passing, she shared some amazing stories of her life.

So many I had never heard before – her biggest mistakes, her biggest wins, and her biggest regrets.

So much I didn't know because I knew her as Mom. But Donna was a vibrant, funny, gifted artist and fiercely loyal. To a fault, according to her.

Her messages were honest and without fluff in those days, and the main theme was this: Your potential is dictated by your courage, not your abilities.

In my mother’s final weeks, she began to share with me her biggest regrets. She had many things she was very proud of and believed in her soul that she lived an honorable life.

But when she was facing what she knew was the end, she began to share the things that she regretted NOT doing in her life.

Each one had to do with expressing her fullest self.

She was an artist who stopped painting and a singer who stopped singing. She loved love but settled for a romantic-less marriage because at least he wasn’t abusive.

In her final note to me, she asked that I live my life to the fullest and not allow the fear of other people’s opinions to keep me from the greatest gift I have been given – life.

I struggle with this daily, much like you.

It’s hard to live with the clarity of your final days, but we both know this advice is true.

Perhaps the deepest truth there is.

The truth we all claim to be searching for, but searching isn’t really what we’re doing.

We’re running.

Running away from what we know, from our gut feelings, and from our truth because we’re afraid to live a life of full expression. We fear other people will reject us.

Meanwhile, the only thing these people are rejecting is themselves.

None of us would argue that fearing other people’s opinions is a one-way ticket to regret, but we do it anyway. Consciously. Unconsciously. We do it every minute of every day.

But what would life feel like if you truly lived out the story your soul desires? Scary AF? Of course. Worth it? I have no doubt. But will you? Will I? I can’t say for sure.

But what I can promise is that you and I are worth it.

The best definition of the word "depression" I ever heard was this: “depression is nothing more than denied expression.”

I believe this is true more often than not. The weight we feel in our lives has nothing to do with our circumstances but everything to do with our resistance to expressing ourselves fully.

Courageously. Authentically. Imperfectly.

Does this resonate with your spirit? Does this trigger something deep within you? Is there a resounding YES? Or does it feel too scary to even consider?

Would too much change if you followed your gut?

Would you move to another state or country?

Break free from an unhealthy relationship?

Get rid of all the unnecessary possessions?

Or would you share your art, your story, and your gifts for the world to taste?

I won’t say what you should do. But I will say your life is a gift. My hope is that you begin to share it with us more authentically.

And if you haven’t heard this today – I’m proud of you. You’re doing an amazing job.

You really are.

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