Insecurity → Coping (sabotage behavior) → Shame → Coping (sabotage behavior) Self-sabotage doesn’t happen at random. It shows up when we’re growing—or being called to grow—beyond our current abilities. Maybe the pressure comes from an outside source, like a new job, a relationship, or the life-altering responsibility of becoming a father. Or maybe the pressure is internal—driven by your own goals, dreams, and the vision of a bigger life. Either way, growth is uncomfortable. When you’re challenged to become more capable, you’re also met with intense resistance. This resistance has a name: Cognitive Dissonance. Formal definition: Cognitive Dissonance is the discomfort typically experienced as psychological stress, which can manifest as feelings of guilt, anxiety, shame, or regret. Put simply, your brain thrives on predictable outcomes, better known as habits, and habits protect you in two ways: 1. They conserve energy. Learning something new takes a massive amount of mental and physical energy. Historically, this energy was reserved for survival—hunting, building shelter, and fighting off predators. 2. They create predictability. Predictability makes survival more likely. When outcomes are familiar, your brain feels safer. Stepping into unknown territory (even just psychologically) sets off your internal alarms because it could be filled with threats. So, What Does This Have to Do with Self-Sabotage? The problem is that modern life has evolved faster than our biology. We don’t need to fight off tigers or hunt for every meal anymore. But our biological responses haven’t caught up in our modern world, where we’re being hijacked by trivial stressors like the latest marketing tactics to get you to buy shit you don’t actually need or comparing our vacations to strangers on social media. As a result, many of us have become masters of coping instead of being. That energy in your body—the same energy designed to help you build, hunt, and thrive—is lying dormant, trapped like a bull in a cage.

How many of you feel like you need to prove something just to feel "enough"? - How strong you are. - How successful you are. - How smart you are. For many men the list feels miles long. I used to hate the idea of "proving yourself." It felt like chasing approval from others—my father, my coaches, my friends—always trying to measure up to their judgments. But over time, I’ve reframed this idea. Now, I love the relationship I have with proving something to myself. It’s about showing myself that I can actually do it—whatever “it” might be. Today, I’m introducing something new: The Monday Prompt. Each week, I’ll share a sentence for you to finish in the comments. These prompts are designed to help you reflect, open up, and find the courage to be seen by other men who are on the same journey. This week’s Monday Prompt: I want to prove to myself that I can… Finish the sentence in the comments below. Let’s hear it.

Welcome! The Good Man Project is a community where men learn how to break free from the toxic patterns that are secretly destroying their potential. Here's what to do first: Step 1: Introduce yourself below with this copy/paste template: What's your favorite movie? Where are you from? What's your goal inside this community? Don't forget to check out: Breakthrough Mini-Course Step 2: Best practices: 1) Have a profile photo. 2) Space out all your writings into single sentence paragraphs (like I'm doing here). 3) Welcome new members, make helpful posts, share your wins, and engage in the community to level up! Group Rules: 1) No Hate 2) No Self Promotion 3) No Spamming the Community Feed DON'T FORGET TO DOWNLOAD THE APP for easy access to the group!