making something new for jiu jitsu

one of the things i am making or writing is a book it is about a boy who lost all his family and ended up in a facility and has to escape to find after a few years ago the earth has changed https://www.wattpad.com/story/356820767 this should lead to the story if not let me know

how is this it is tune to capture emotion and brotherly bond and connection

i been working on this how is it can i get opinions and should i add more

Bro I swear like I accepted my own side quest or smth💀 like I just thought of learning a new high value skill and now I'm beginning to try to learn while focusing on things like working out, MMA, etc