Holidays are here and I am not ready · Brojo: The Integrity Army

Holidays are here and I am not ready

Seems like the holidays come way too soon each year and I’m never emotionally prepared for it. I’m feeling quite anxious about it. My step-daughter and her husband are coming soon and will stay with us for 2 weeks. Thing is her husband triggers me every time. He’s disrespectful and arrogant and very sarcastic towards me and tends to give a lot of unsolicited advice which I hate. The sarcasm they claim is humor but to me he is a troll. He really needs to work on his delivery if he is trying to be funny. But it’s not like we’re good trusting friends that know each other well and can trade barbs every now and again and laugh about it. I don’t believe that he trusts me. And I’m afraid I’ve overshared with him and he tends to include that stuff in his digs.

The thing is my wife’s father was constantly cruel to me under the guise of just joking and I was not able to successfully set boundaries. He just laughed. He is passed now but I feel like people in and around the family saw that and think they can walk all over me. Although with the PTSD diagnosis some have chilled out. I am grateful for that.

I don’t know if the son-in-law knows about the PTSD and if he does how will he handle it. My wife tends to gaslight me on this saying she did not hear it or so and so was just kidding.

I can’t really avoid this visit situation because I’m a nice guy and have only just started with fixing that.

I don’t want to be triggered and I don’t want to puke. Truthfully I’d love to break his fucking nose but setting boundaries is the grown-up solution and I want that more. I’d rather never see him again.

I’m not prepared so do I just ride it out? Keep my mouth shut and ignore him? I am a wallflower. Is there a crash course secret weapon or magic potion? I know there is not. Man I hate holidays.

My plan is to try and ignore some things, ask him to repeat himself or clarify in front of everyone, or try to set boundaries. I’m going to try doing this while remaining calm but serious and firm.

But I’m not there yet.

Ernie

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