Healthy masculinity and honesty. · Brojo: The Integrity Army

Healthy masculinity and honesty.

I came across Dan's blogpost on : what is healthy masculinity, https://theinspirationallifestyle.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-a-man-defining-healthy-masculinity/ which led me to a post on what is honesty. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqNTCAst-1w

I have kinda known my nice guy stuff was pretty extreme, and I hide a lot from the world to put up an easy going , like me, give me my needs without me asking, kind of front. I always sort of knew that was lying by omission, but it is a lifetime strategy... so hard for me to go against.

In my last relationship, I saw how I do this extra so in a relationship so my then partner would be nice to me and give me sex, And, it did not work ! It had the reverse effect... the same as pretty much every other relationship dynamic I have been in.

It is all that making others feel good to make myself feel good, nice guy stuff.

Its the not standing up for myself and vulnerably being open about all my inner self. That really affected my last relationship (all of them I am sure), I didn't speak up, so I allowed her to think her bad opinion of me was the truth, which made things even harder , as I desperately "niced" all over the place, until I melted down and ran. Not a successful strategy!

I see a lot of my "problem" of life in the nice guy lying through omission, and lack of courage, ... I see a lot of the answer to the problem in the courageous act of being vulnerable enough to be honest...

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