'Fake It Till You Make It' vs. Authentic Confidence

A guy asked me what's the difference between the “fake it til you make it” attitude and “being more authentically confident”, since being more confident often feels like being fake.

There are a couple of key differences.

When you fake it, you’re doing something that you don't actually align with, in terms of your core values. For example, you're pretending to be someone else or you keep doing things to impresses other people.

However, you don't feel that these actions are genuine to who you really are. Similarly, when you are doing something new, you may be pretending to feel confident when you don’t really feel that way.

Being more authentic doesn’t require you to be fake in any way.

First off, all you've got to do is to be aligned with your core values, more than usual. Just because it's unfamiliar, doesn't mean it's fake! Odds are, you've been fake your whole life and now you're finally being real.

At the same time, don't pretend that you feel confident doing it.

You can admit to being nervous or unsure of yourself. You can show that this is unfamiliar. There's no reason to pretend.

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