Not sure during which meditation but something clicked. It was amazing to realize you are no longer having an emotional reaction in situations you are now staying calm and grounded. You can choose to respond or choose not to respond to a situation. So f*cking freeing.

If you saw my last post, I felt disconnected yesterday which made the grounding meditation a little difficult. I tried it again today and was able to get through it much better. Instead of a cord connecting to the ground I imagined a trash shoot down my spine and went through my body and thoughts with a shovel and just dumped everything down the trash shoot. Then I tore apart the trash shoot. It was a step in the right direction with becoming connected to myself again. I often times feel disconnected from myself. Almost as if I live outside of my body and it kind of leaves me disoriented. I struggle to stay in the present. I think after years of depression, I learned to dissociate from my reality because I didn’t like my reality. Now I’m trying to get back to myself. These meditations have really helped. Slowly I am finding my way back. Has anyone else had this experience?

I had to stop this time. I can’t think of a safe place. The one I had before when I did this meditation using the app just made me feel so incredibly sad. Then I tried searching my mind for another one and couldn’t. It’s like every door I opened to a place or memory just disappeared when I opened the door to look at it. What the hell do I do now?

So I'm on day 18, just about to do our meditation (my partner always does them with me, he LOVES meditating and this is just a sprink of extra for him!). I woke up with the usual sink hole feeling in my chest, took 2 deep breaths and BOOM, gone! Rob (partner type) told me I would feel the benefits, he told me ageeeeees ago I should make it a go to in the day to help with the mad monkeys in my head. Did I listen? Noooooooooo. Did I have alllllllll the excuses? Oh hell yes! Here are some of my top hits on the excuses I gave: Too busy Got things to do Cant sit still Head too busy I'm getting frustrated I don't get the breath bit (oh how this YB stuff made me laugh at myself on that one) The thoughts don't go away like they do for you Rob . . Don't get me wrong I did psuedo try but normally just ended up drinking a coffee and watching the steam with 1 zillion thoughts racing round my brain. NB have since given up coffee it really does not help with that sinking feeling, IGNORE THE INTERNET IT LIES. Coffee gave me a 2 hr bliss high then slumped me on the roadside like an unwanted hostage leaving me feeling like the sky was falling in. Also found out that I wasn't drinking enough water which ALSO can give you the ol' sadness side effect . . interesting find yesterday. Anyway, day 18 the feelings are getting less. The realisation my body is addicted to cortisol is a big one and now, incrementally I am becoming what I wanted to be ie internally calmer, able to realise when the monkeys in my head have started bouncing around with their neg talk. and instead of looking for MORE things to stress about turning it around to look at things to appreciate, which has been an immense help. SO to end my litany . . meditation for the win. England is now that little bit (I'm 5ft 1") happier, that little bit calmer, that little bit more aware of changing the negative chatter to appreciation. Thank you of course to Yogi B. and also to you all my tribe, my wonderful honest tribe.

Short and sweet! I enjoyed this one. My feet were touching the ground. It’s where I always feel the most rooted. Had moonlight to show me the way. Tippin’ one of my favorite cuppa mugs to yours! 🧘🏻‍♀️🤍📿🌞🌙✨☕️💜🍂