It’s Laura’s last week at her current job and I can see the emotional labor she’s doing wrapping up her work and trying to make things smoother with her colleagues. Grateful for her figuring out how to emotionally support people in our lives who are disappointed about the election. Grateful for Laura figuring out coping strategies for herself given that I have a big teaching/classwork load this week and have had to balance lesson prep/being on campus with domestic responsibilities. Grateful that Laura is so deft at pinpointing what we need to provide comfort and hospitality to incoming guests.

Grateful for Laura for doing the emotional labor of cushioning the blow of a schedule change which I tend to handle poorly. Grateful for Laura for being the one to engage and be warm during church fellowship.

Grateful for Laura doing the emotional labor of motivating us to get family portraits taken, chatting amiably with the photographer, and putting a good face on our total lack of preparation, when I couldn’t be bothered to fix my face and fake a smile. Grateful for Laura for setting the boundary that if I want us to “do Halloween properly next year”, the mental load is one me. Grateful for Laura for pushing me to do the work of looking into the theatre scene in the bigger, more expensive city we’re moving to next year, when my attitude was that because it was “bigger”, she shouldn’t feel a sense of loss about leaving a city with inexpensive. quality theatre. She had to deal with my snobbery ruining a great afternoon at Syracuse Stage. Grateful for Laura for expressing what she needed for our after church plans tomorrow: going to a movie, not stopping back home to make lunch, making a nice dinner together in the evening.

My name is Zach, married 9 years, together almost 11, living in Central MA, with one 3 year old. This work and coaching is what I do full time. What I hope to gain from this community is building a safe space for guys that want to learn to ask questions and improve their understanding of the mental load which many women have trusted in me to teach to the men in their lives

1. Grateful that Laura made dill cream cheese with me this morning, even though the first conversation we had today was about me taking on an academic/social commitment without asking her, a sticking point in our relationship. 2. Grateful that Laura did emotional labor of answering budgeting questions, some of which I could have found the answers to myself. 3. Grateful that Laura kept the timing of our weekend plans in her head today, even though I currently have more free time/mental space. 4. Grateful that Laura interacted with our property manager (we are renters) about a task she had asked us to do today. I easily could have managed the task myself but wanted her to make sure I “did it right” (weaponized incompetence/making her the project manager)