Not sure during which meditation but something clicked. It was amazing to realize you are no longer having an emotional reaction in situations you are now staying calm and grounded. You can choose to respond or choose not to respond to a situation. So f*cking freeing.

Got a little bit of a late start today. Woke up to no power. Threw my whole routine off. Oh well. Got my meditation in now that the power is back on. I think this meditation things is working cause I wasn't all hyped up about the power being out. I didn't get all anxious and freaked out. Cool calm and collected.

There seems to be a theme for me lately, “Finding Self”. I grew up very religious. I have some religious trauma that I am working on in therapy and I’m realizing how religion seeped into almost every aspect of my life. I deconstructed my faith but I never deconstructed how that faith affects me in non religious context. I am an agnostic atheist now and am learning to navigate the world without religion. I’m learning who I am without religion as well. Growing up I was always told who I was, rather, who I was supposed to be. From 4yrs old to 29, I was trying to fit into this precut mold, shoving the overlapping parts of me inside as if they were always meant to be there. I was a Christian. I was a follower of Christ. I was only what “god” approved of me to be, and by “god” I mean my pastor, elders, and parents. I never really had the opportunity to explore self and who she was meant to be. Taking religion away, taking god out of the equation, taking back my autonomy, has been a difficult, painful, lonely road but I found my way out and I have no regrets. One thing I still struggle with is self. One of the recent mediations was asking “who am I?”, a question I have been scared to face because I didn’t know how to answer. Reading through some of your responses and posts encouraged me to face that question head on and really consider who I am and who I want to be. In the last meditation I did on gratitude I was finally able to confidently say I am grateful for myself and who I am becoming. I still have a long journey ahead but I’m no longer afraid or holding back. I’m thankful for this community of online strangers and I’m rooting for anyone who is on the same journey!

Mmm cinnamon toast crunch. So I tend to give thanks for my food regularly. However I've never really taken the time to meditate on it.

Do you see number combinations repeatedly, like 1111? These are often referred to as angel numbers and many believe they are signs from God, your angels, the universe , or whatever you may believe. They are said to have different meanings depending on what that number may be. What is yours? Mine is 919. I see this number pretty much daily, multiple times a day. Meanings I have found (paraphrasing here) endings and new beginnings, you are right where you need to be. Trust your path. Don’t we hear Yogi B say this often? Stop fucking overthinking it. You’re right where you need to be. Dude, I think I get it now! 🤣I’m a chronically overthinking basket case, but I really do get it now. To add to the 🤦🏽‍♀️ of this particular number, it’s my birth date 🤣. Someone has a brilliant fucking sense of humor! It only took me 51 long years (in about an hour) to get it. Sometimes painful, sometimes fucking amazing, sometimes a little of both at the same time. Just be grateful for this moment and fucking breathe!