Toggling · Release Your F*cks Society

Toggling

Between journaling here, on a different app and my handy dandy paper and pen(read: set of erasable pens ☺️🤭).

Almost done with a notebook I started in 2021. That’s exciting.

I think I’m in a heavy transition space. Lethargic. Rigid.

I feel frozen. Getting by. It’s crazy cuz this is not the first time I’ve been here. I recognize this pattern in myself. Frustrated. Pushing through and checking the box on my meditations. Even if I’m falling asleep to them. I’m giving myself grace and trusting that my subconscious is doing what it needs. Every day I am more convinced that my neurodivergent brain is the cause for my lack of effective executive function most days. I don’t wanna medicate thru big pharma. I can’t will myself to “do stuff” and routines and patterns fade away. I’m not driven by the thoughts of the future. It’s so obscure. I feel I’ve become complacent?. Or my diagnosed depression is at an all time high and the brain is frayed. How to reboot. Cuz I can’t recognize the difference right now. Doing the mechanisms… not the coping.

And on the outside— it’s all moving along! Yea, getting back in my Zone and preparing for a busy season at work & getting strong af again + taking my business/health seriously + looking forward oodles of holiday school activities for the child. Especially… all. The. Socializing.

Is it 2025 yet🫠

alright. All right. Always. All ways.

Thank you God for another day.

25 comments