How to Create a Dream Come True (pt 1)

This is a repost from my coach Gary Mahler's substack. I have a paid membership there, but Gary has graciously allowed me to repost this article for you, with permission. It's a great one, enjoy! (And I've included his Dr Martin Luther King quotes at the end of the piece.)

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As I sit here in the early hours of a December morning, reflecting on my life in the (finally) completed Mahler International Coaching Studio, I am filled with gratitude for a force greater than myself that believed in me and encouraged me to pursue all my desires: to experience the joy of creation and the exuberance of a dream realized. As we slowly unpack almost three years of international living and set up our new space, I reflect on how this is all possible.

Before I continue, allow me to share a truth I have discovered. There is no magic formula or tip or trick to make you get rich, find a romantic partner, or become happy.

All we have is life. Our life.

God, Source, the Universe, fate, or whatever you want to call it or not call it, has given us life. We are empowered to decide how we use this life. We have free will to call upon ourselves what we feel is important for us to reflect on and hold in our awareness. This creates the fabric of our day-to-day lived life.

Many times, we exist in life without fully experiencing the nuances of the magnificent gift of being alive. Over 20 years ago I decided that I had enough of merely counting the days down to my death and began the journey of becoming alive.

Please don't misunderstand; at that time, I was producing a tremendous amount of insanely excellent stuff and leading a life that most people would envy. I had a gorgeous starter wife, a bustling manufacturing business, and I took three vacations to Hawaii in a year. Apart from my time in Hawaii, I wasn’t really enthusiastic about anything, including all the money I had, the status I reveled in, and the work I did. I was dead and getting colder by the moment, rigor mortis of the soul setting in.

The shift within me, which occurred when I could no longer endure the heartbreaking life I had been leading, compelled me to take tiny steps to free myself from that life of death. I felt as if my eyes could see, my ears could hear, and I could finally sense the life I yearned for within the corners of my mind, awareness, and, to put it simply, my soul.

The first steps to becoming alive were small. almost imperceptible. These were subtle decisions that helped me understand my role as the "cause" of my disembodied experience. Rather than attributing my ennui to external events, I devoted time to introspection, breathing life into the visions held in my mind's eye.

I came to understand that the time I dedicated to examining how my actions contributed to my unhappiness was a valuable investment. I examined how the expectations I placed on people had me constantly disappointed by them. I began doing things in a different way.

What does that even mean?

It means that instead of placing impossible expectations on people, I actually requested the things I wanted. I made agreements with people instead of blindly saying yes to what they wanted, even if it was something I definitely didn’t want. I became assertive and clear. The amusing thing was that instead of being a nice guy who went along with everything and putting on a nice guy's mask, I transformed into a kind person. (Nice is anemic; kind is caring with a backbone.) I became powerful.

I chose to share the above quotes by Dr. Martin Luther King because he had a dream—a big dream—a dream that lived and ultimately died for. Imagine if we lived into our dreams this way? The lessons I see in the above quotes are as follows:

The incessant self-judgment we heap upon ourselves is the greatest obstacle to realizing a dream. Unless we come to learn to love all the parts of ourselves we are ashamed of, dislike, and even hate, we are doomed to live within a mind filled with darkness. We can create a heart filled with love and grace.

Once we have self-respect and honor for ourselves, we can begin to share our gifts with the world. We are able to give freely of ourselves. Gifting our talents, energy, and time creates connection and synergy. Opportunity arises from a way of being that is generous. You can never outgive the universe. Connection is the ultimate predictor of success.

There is love and desire. All dreams are born of desire. Love moves us into action towards that desire. Powerful action creates waves in the time-space continuum. Love and power create potent action.

Each of us has a distinct perspective on the world and how we engage with it.

I have a dream…

My dream is to co-create people who love themselves so powerfully that they share their gifts so profoundly, give of their essence so freely, that they never stop creating their dreams for the world. They love themselves and their place in the world so much that the world always gives back more than they could ever desire.

The world does not give you what you want; it gives according to who you are being.

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And the Dr. Martin Luther King quotes:

I have a dream…

"You know, a lot of people don’t love themselves. And they go through life with deep and haunting emotional conflicts. So the length of life means that you must love yourself. And you know what loving yourself also means? It means that you’ve got to accept yourself.” — Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., "The Three Dimensions of a Complete Life" Sermon

"Everybody can be great… because anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love." — Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., "The Drum Major Instinct" Sermon.

“Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic.” — Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

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Note: Gary's wonderful substack writing can be found here, if you'd like to subscribe. It's just $8 USD per month: https://glmahlergmailcom.substack.com

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