Replacing limiting beliefs with new ones

Someone asked about this in a discussion and I thought it would be worth a repost and it's own thread.

The process of challenging schema's (schema is a word for Subconscious beliefs. These are beliefs you have that drive your behavior, and often you are not aware of what these beliefs are) is in Alpha Mindset. The chapter on challenging anxiety. I'll give you the synopsis here in steps:

Take a look at something you are failing at or need to change. Let's say it's getting started in updating your resume and seeking new employment. If your action plan is simple and you are just not doing it and you seem to be self sabotaging, then we need to assume that something is wrong with your inner game. Assume that doing this represents a threat or pain or fear or something you are trying to avoid.
So start asking yourself questions, and take notes or journal them. What does updating the resume and seeking employment mean to you? what does it represent? what could you be afraid of? Meditate and brainstorm these types of questions
These questions will uncover subconscious beliefs (schemas) in regards to seeking new employment. Put those into a clear and concise statement. So maybe you might write a few statements like:

"New employment highlights that I have been a failure at my current job"

"Updating the resume and seeking new employment seems like a tedious waste of time."

"I am comfortable in my job and I am nervous about change"

4. Now that you have put words to schema's and made yourself conscious of what has been in your subconscious, it is time to challenge these ideas.

5. Take a statement, like "New employment highlights that I have been a failure", and write all the ways that statement might seem true. Basically, Argue FOR the schema first. So that might look like....

"I picked a job that ended up being a dead end, and I wasted 5 years of my life there making less money then I should have. I've grown comfortable with it not being very challenging, but now I am financially hindered. And leaving this job means starting from scratch, and I have failed and found myself in a dead in job so what if I make the same mistake except with a new employer that is even worse?"

6. Now, take that statement and that argument for the schema, and argue the opposite. Counter argue or argue against it. That might look like...

"The job I am in has been a great opportunity and not a waste of 5 years. I could be making something more somewhere else, but I also could be doing a lot worse and making less. And because I am more experienced, starting a new job isn't necessarily starting over, because I have more value with 5 years of experience to potential employers."

7. You have argued both sides of the schema. By arguing FOR the schema first, you are acknowledging why you think it is true subconsciously and why you would hold that belief to begin with. This is critical. if you must try to think of a new belief, you will subconsciously resist anything you come up with. By acknowledging the schema and why it is there, it loses control of your subconscious and puts you in charge of your own mind. And by arguing the opposite, it allows you to challenge the schema. By having argued for both extremes, it is easier to find the truth, which is usually (but not always) somewhere between the two.

This next step is to come up with a more reasonable way of thinking about this. You already have the most extreme sides of the argument by arguing both for and against the schema. Now it is time to come up with a more reasonable, objective way of thinking about it that BENEFITS you. Your new way of thinking needs to be both true (objective) AND beneficial. This is important because often times we can look at something in 2 different ways that are both true, but one is way more of a beneficial mental model than the other.

So the new way of thinking about this might sound like:

"The job I took 5 years ago was good for me when I took it because I had a lot less experience. But now 5 years later with more experience, this company really can't offer me much more to advance my career. And the pay here isn't as competitive as other companies. So staying in my current position for much longer and not seeking new opportunities would be a failure. And I have a lot more experience and ability now then the last time I searched for new employment, which means I am a success at what I do."

8. Now I am going to take that new statement, and make it into a more concise statement that more or less represents my new schema. That might sound like:

"I am a successful and capable person who is being undervalued, and it would be a failure for me not NOT seek out great employment opportunities"

Now let's compare the difference between the old schema and the new one.

Old:

"New employment highlights that I have been a failure at my current job"

New:

"I am a successful and capable person who is being undervalued, and it would be a failure for me not NOT seek out great employment opportunities"

Big difference in those two statements. The subconscious belief is not true or beneficial. The new Schema is both true and actually propels you into taking the action you want.

Now time to implant the new belief into our subconscious, making it a new schema.

9. Now that you have a new belief, make sure you write it down and put it someplace where you can access it or remember it easily. You can say this as a mantra or affirmation in meditation. You can write it down several times in the morning. Or simply just be mindful of it.

But more importantly, now that you have done this work and have the new belief you are trying to implement, you want to pay attention to your behaviors, emotional reactions, and thoughts. When you notice yourself doing things that go against this new belief, you want to challenge yourself and consciously make a different choice or take a different action.

When you take different actions, you will get a sense of reward as well as objective rewards from that action. These rewards is feedback that the new belief is the more true and better one. This will cause you to assimilate the new belief into your subconscious. With time and repetition over weeks (not days or months. It seems to usually takes about 3 weeks or to assimilate most new schemas), you will have a completely different way of showing up in the world as it pertains to that schema.

Tips:

Let's look at how people will fuck this up. First biggest way is they don't do it at all. So do the thing, and things will happen. Simple.

But the next thing that happens is people start to do the thing, and they get overwhelmed. You have to do this for each statement and limit, and that adds up to probably 100's of schema's to challenge and try to change. That will seem overwhelming and then guys will stop doing it. Here are some things to remember:

Often times when you change one schema and become different, it can eliminate or change several other schemas. For example, if the schema is to fear failure in something and you change it, you are now thinking like a "winner", and therefore all the other schemas where you feared failure in some way starts to transform. Maybe after attacking one or two "failure" related schemas, you end up eliminating and changing dozens of potential schemas related to failure because you are now thinking like a winner.

Second thing is there is a compounding effect. Don't overwhelm yourself with trying to find 25 different schemas and try to think of each one at the same time and try to change them all in a week. Just pick one or two things, work on it until you feel like you are doing good, then move on to something else.

The measure of whether you are doing this right is your results.

If the guy in this example goes from "avoiding seeking out a new job" to updating resume, making phone calls, getting interviews, and getting hired, then guess what? He is doing things right. If his results are shit and he is still dicking around with a subpar resume and not really taking the right actions, then he is doing it wrong and needs to change. Super simple.

Hope that all makes sense! Let me know what you think or what results you get.

1 comment