A neat trick for getting back out there...

Guys often ask me "How do I get back out in the dating market. I broke up with my (wife/girlfriend) of (blank years) and wanting to start dating again, but I get unsure of myself when it comes to approaching and opening women...." Or some version of this question.

Here is kind of a neat trick for you to try.

You are going to let your cognitive biases work to an advantage here.

I remember back in my much younger days how it always used to annoy me that a few of my friends who were players would always think that every girl wants to fuck them. Even when it was completely irrational and untrue. Yet, they were the ones getting pussy during a time when I was absolutely not and still figuring it out. The irrational self confidence they had carried over into their game. They assumed girls wanted to fuck them, so they approached women confidently and with that frame. They got rejected like anyone does but ignored those rejections, and yet when they got laid they used that to confirm their irrational bias that every girl wanted them. But it worked!

There is a way in which you can create a bias that is actually a lot less irrational, and will boost your self confidence.

What I want you to do is the entry level pick up activity of just talking to strangers. Make social connections with strangers and graduate to hot girls. So have small conversations with hot girls, and gauge their reactions. Then don't close them or take it any further (intentionally).

This does a number of things that is actually genius.

One is you take the pressure off of yourself when you know you aren't going to close or take it anywhere. This almost eliminates any rejection fear and boosts your confidence.

Two is your vibe will be chill. The girl will sense that you aren't trying to get anything from her. This will increase your perception of value. She will be more interested.

You will get a lot of girls who will show indicators of interest. With any girl you can gauge after a single conversation whether or not they would want to fuck you on a scale of like 0-100.

This is better explained with an example. The other day I came across 3 different girls who I noticed were on the "would fuck me" scale without even trying. One was 99/100, the other was 90/100, and the third was really only a sentence exchanged between us about a 70/100. Anything above a 50/100 will get you a first date, FYI. If they are 90/100 it's a same night lay.

Now, I didn't close ANY of these girls to take it further to find out because of my LTR.

Now lets look at the reality.

A girl could be 90/100 ready to fuck, but has a boyfriend or a logistical concern or something that would get in the way. So if you were going to try to move it to a close, it might not happen. A girl could change her mind about you as well. Maybe a girl is 90/100 dtf, but then by the time we get on the first date her hormones and life changes (and maybe I do something to turn her off) and she just never fucks or decides to do a second date.

So the reality is much different. If I am trying, I can meet 10 girls in an hour or two easily who would be 70-99 on the would fuck scale, but maybe only 1-2 would actually make it to the bedroom.

That said, by not taking things further, your brain doesn't know whether or not the girl would have made it. It isn't tested. All it knows is that the girl you just talked to briefly was high enough on the fuck scale to have been a POTENTIAL fuck. This means that you are attractive enough to tickle her primal attraction areas of brain that controls her vagina.

By not closing you will have a biased perception that you could fuck all these women. This has the effect of boosting the confidence and putting your mind in a state of believing that you are genetically attractive to women. And it isn't wrong. If you read her signals right, you were attractive to her in that moment.

Now don't do this forever obviously. Or for even that long (maybe a day to at most a week or so). Just do this for a short period of time while you are getting your inner game together. Talk to girls with no pressure of closing. Notice how many of them find you fuckable. Remember, 50/100 is enough to get a guy on a first date. By noticing the large number of women that respond positively to you and find you fuckable (and some will find you 90 or more out of 100 fuckable) you will put your brain in a positive bias about your own SMV. Because in truth, there are a lot of women who would at least want to fuck you on a primal level, even if logistics and life choices makes it unlikely to happen. Therefore you not having a harem of girls to fuck RIGHT NOW has nothing to do with your attractiveness, and has almost everything to do with your game, both inner and outer.

Try it! Then when you are ready, start closing, setting dates, and seducing with the confidence that you didn't have before.

6 comments