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Eat Cleanse Move

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The Courage Collective

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5 contributions to The Courage Collective
The Difference Between Defensive and Courageous Communication
The latin root of the word "Courage" is "Cor" which means "heart". Courageous communication isn't being loud, or having the most information with which to win an argument. It's speaking from the heart with all that entails - be it passion, sadness, anger, or hope. It's also vulnerable - it exposes you, insecurities and all, to whoever is listening. Vulnerability is scary, and we often compensate for that scariness by unconsciously defending ourselves. 3 of the most common ways are: 1. Disclaimers 2. Over-explaining 3. Using indirect, passive language For example here are common disclaimers: - This might be wrong, but... - I’m no expert, but... - this might sound stupid, but... - Just my opinion - I think - does that make sense? - I don’t know, but... Do you notice yourself saying any of these often, especially when in an uncomfortable conversation? When we say these things, it's a form of defense. It means we're feeling in some way insecure about what we say. There's nothing wrong with feeling insecure, but compensating for insecurities in our speech won't move people. It won't influence them. But conversely, we also don't want to come across as inauthentic, or pretend to be more confident than we actually are. So what's the solution? In this video from the most recent Courageous Conversation we explore 3 different types of communication. You'll see each of these modeled, and learn how to own insecurities and use them to bolster communication, rather than hide them.
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New comment 2d ago
The Difference Between Defensive and Courageous Communication
1 like • 3d
I'm a people pleaser and an engineer (very detail oriented) so I tend to give too many disclaimers and also over-explain my ideas. I know that my communication will become much more powerful if I practice being succinct.
Use This Next Time A Conversation Breaks Down
This is a framework I learned recently that I want to share with you. I call it the “Conversation Matrix”. Many conversations break down because the conversants aren’t clear on what type of conversation they’re having, or what goal of the conversation even is. There are four types of conversation - Dialogue, Debate, Discourse, and Diatribe. A discourse is a 1-way, cooperative conversation whose goal is to deliver information. So if you make a how-to video on how to make crème brûlée, or play a character in League of Legends,, that’s a discourse. A diatribe is a 1-way, competitive conversation whose goal is to convince people of a view. Often it involves expressing strong emotions, critiquing a viewpoint, or rallying people to a cause. Think of a political campaign ad. A dialogue is a 2-way, cooperative conversation whose goal is to exchange information. The priority building connection to allow the easy sending and receiving of information. Podcasts like Joe Rogan Experience, or On Purpose by Jay Shetty are good examples of this. A debate is a 2-way, competitive conversation, the goal of which is for one side to win over the other. We all know what that looks like. Breakdowns in communication happen quickly when the conversants aren’t on the same page about what kind of conversation it is. Take politics for example. Have you ever seen a conversation that was supposed to be a dialogue devolve into a debate? Often it's because at least one person got triggered and closed off to receiving new information. Media bias is often a media outlet presenting themselves as engaging in a discourse (sharing information) when in fact they’re subtly engaging in a diatribe: they're trying to convince you of an opinion. The art of conversation and conflict resolution is more than the content of the conversation - it’s understanding the context. When we become emotional, we tend to lose sight of the context. Conversations about abortion shift from dialogue to debate without the participants even realizing it happened: Suddenly people are pissed off and they don’t see how they got there.
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New comment 2d ago
Use This Next Time A Conversation Breaks Down
2 likes • 3d
I often intend to engage in dialogue and end up in a debate. This will be a helpful framework to refer back to and help me realize when that happens in real time. The distinction between discourse and diatribe is very helpful as well. Thank you for this resource.
Welcome To The Courage Collective!
The goal of this community is to help you Live Courageously, which means: 1. Being radically honest with yourself and others, especially when it’s scary. 2. Knowing and speaking your truth so that you can transform your career and relationships. 3. Becoming a powerful and influential communicator who people are moved  by. We practice Courageous Communication through guided exercises and discussions. To do this, we curate discussions on sensitive topics like politics and religion. This community aims to be a global force. We want to help humans connect despite disagreements and find a shared reality. This is an active community where brave participation is key. So ask questions, start discussions, and lean into your edges! Your first task: - Share one thing you’re going to do within the next 72 hours to leave your comfort zone in the comments below.
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New comment 2d ago
2 likes • 3d
I am going to work on a solo podcast about why I support RFK, why I care about the health crisis, and why I believe it is completely natural for all of us to have different "number ones" when it comes to our voting. We should hate corruption and our rigged political systems, not each other. I may decide not to publish it. But I've realized I need to try to record it and see what comes out.
Introduction and why I'm here + biggest challenge
Hi all, I'm really happy to be here. I noticed that the community doesn't have any posts other than Kaizen's so I want to go ahead and break the ice. My name is Max, I'm a Men's Coach, I am 30, and I live in Buenos Aires, Argentina. I am here because I have once more felt inspired by Kaizen's communication, particularly one of his recent posts when he shared how people who haven't done the inner work are guiding the direction of humanity; while intelligent, self aware, coscious people who SHOULD be participating in the difficult conversations are shying away from it and just focusing on "raising their vibration". I felt particularly called out by that because that is exactly what I have been doing all my life and this was certainly a check mate. I can no longer ignore the world if I am serious about my integrity as a corageous human, which I like to think of myself as. I have particularly avoided the topic of politics all my life, but even more consciously for the last 5-6 years, where I decided to unplug from EVERY source of news and to not let a single bit of information about worldly matters enter my awareness, because of how overwhelming it actually feels for me. I now realize how ridiculous this sounds and I feel like turning 30 has felt like a milestone that comes with certain different expectations. I spent my 20s doing a lot of healing that was really necessary, and admittedly, there was little to no space to worry about worldly important matters. I did not feel adequate, and quite frankly, I did not give a shit about anything other than myself. As much as I am very aware that healing is never "complete", I do feel much more clear and lighter about who I am and I no longer feel like I have a justifiable reason to continue to play dumb and ignore the world. My biggest challenge when it comes to difficult topics, especially politics, is that I feel like I have 0 knowledge and I struggle to feel worthy of an opinion because of my lack of understanding and information. I fear having conversations where my opinion is shut down by a very knowledgeable and intelligent person who actually knows what they're talking about, and I would feel dumb (and I guess unworthy), and I also fear reacting in shame and getting defensive (some past trauma here).
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New comment 2d ago
2 likes • 3d
@Max Cuartas I just shared a bit of my story in Kaizen's "I have a favor to ask" post. I relate to your story. I am 35 and have avoided talking about politics my whole life. It never felt worthwhile given how heated most topics are. And I didn't have strong opinions about anything political. I just tried to focus on being a kind, curious, and compassionate person. I've reached a point now where I have an audience, and feel like I am holding back my truth by not calling out things I am seeing. So it's time to get courageous!
I have a favor to ask you, and a giveaway!
Hey yall, This community is very much an experiment that I’m figuring out as I go, and I’d like your help making it awesome. To that end, I have a simple favor to ask! I’d like to hear from each of you about what you struggle the most with that I or this community could help you with. Maybe it’s handling difficult conversations in relationships, posting on social media, public speaking - whatever it is, I want to know so that I can tailor my offerings to you! Please comment below. Also, to make things fun, I’m giving away a free 1-1 coaching session to one member of this community. 🎉 You might have noticed that there’s a leaderboard on this platform - that leaderboard represents who has been most active in contributing to the community. Whoever is at the top of the leaderboard by October 4 at noon PT will get an hour with me to get support on any topic they want 🔥 Ways to climb the leaderboard include making posts, commenting on other people’s posts, and interacting with one another. I’ll look to add more incentives over time as well. That’s all - have a great weekend and stay courageous ❤️‍🔥 -Kaizen
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New comment 1d ago
I have a favor to ask you, and a giveaway!
2 likes • 3d
First, I love this prompt. I make a podcast about professional rock climbing. What happens a lot in my community (which is predominantly liberal), is people get triggered by everything. Many of them have been conditioned to leap many steps beyond whatever nuanced point I'm trying to make. For example, if I talk about the health crisis in America, and how I believe it to be a critically important issue, people immediately jump to, “I can’t believe you would share something from RFK Jr, he’s a crazy anti-taxer, he’s a conspiracy theorist, he’s anti-science, and by the way he endorsed Trump, and everyone knows that Trump is a rapist and a racist and a Nazi.” And I’m left staring at my phone thinking, “woah… I don’t agree with any of that, but where am I supposed to go from here?” Here are some questions I've been wrestling with lately: 1. What conversations are worth trying to have in a public space where those people make up a large portion of my audience?  2. What can be done about easily-triggered people? 3. Is it worth speaking my truth, and doubling down on having a nuanced point of view, regardless of their inevitable misunderstanding and backlash from those people? 4. Am I being a coward if I avoid talking about issues that are important to me, out of self-preservation of my business? 5. Is it worth stirring the pot?
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Steven Dimmitt
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11points to level up
@steven-dimmitt-2656
Rock climber, podcaster, and van lifer. I've been dealing with psoriasis for 20 years and I want it gone. Let's do this!

Active 3d ago
Joined Sep 16, 2024
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