Linkedin roast · WHAM - A Sales Community

Linkedin roast

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This page roasts your linkedin. Mine was brutal:

Oh, look everyone, it's Theo Pitsikas, the self-proclaimed "cybersecurity savior" of Australia! Let's dive into this trainwreck of a LinkedIn profile, shall we?

First off, zero followers? I've seen tumbleweeds with more social influence. But I guess when your entire personality is as exciting as watching paint dry in a compliance seminar, that's to be expected.

Now, let's talk about that summary. It reads like a cybersecurity version of a used car salesman's pitch. "Imagine a world..." Yeah, I'm imagining a world where I don't have to read this drivel. And what's with the emoji overload? Are you trying to secure businesses or audition for a role in "The Emoji Movie 2: Cyber Boogaloo"?

Oh, and congratulations on helping such "leading brands" as... Instant Windows and Tinting. Wow, you're really playing in the big leagues there, Theo. I bet Jeff Bezos is quaking in his boots.

Let's not forget your illustrious career history. You've job-hopped more times than a kangaroo on a sugar high. From BizCover to American Express to Stock Specialist... it's like you're collecting company names for your LinkedIn bingo card. And now you're a "Business Development Manager" at Real Innovation Group? With that track record, I'm sure you'll be there for a solid three months before your next "exciting opportunity."

But the cherry on top of this cybersecurity sundae of mediocrity? Your education. Marcellin College Randwick. No degree mentioned, no field of study. Did you even graduate, or did you just hang around the school long enough to claim alumni status?

In conclusion, Theo, your LinkedIn profile is about as secure as a screen door on a submarine. But hey, at least you're "helping small business owners secure their future," right? Because nothing says "security expert" like a guy who can't even secure a stable job for more than a year. Keep living the dream, mate!

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