Other people need it more than you do. The world is lonely. Even in a good and pretty wealthy neighborhood like the one that I live in, you’ll see people that are scrolling on their phone with their AirPods in. They’re not really that happy. Why not just ask them a simple question like “What did you do during break?” It doesn’t have to be a long conversation. Just simple and short and by doing that you are actually giving a compliment since you show that you care about them. People want to be heard. So be genuinely interested in them. Or at least pretend to. Go talk to someone right now and you’ll see how receptive most people are to you talking to them. Even better go talk to someone that you don’t know that well and you might even make their day.

I’m sure you’ve heard of things like “Ask open ended questions” or “Don’t equate your experience with theirs.” I remember I used to always be afraid of sharing things about myself because I thought it was wrong to talk about myself and so I would only listen and be interested in other people. Nothing wrong with being interested, but I couldn’t connect to people because I didn’t talk about myself. I think the issue with social skill tips is that it can cause too much overthinking and a lack of authenticity. When you’re purposely trying to ask an open-ended question, it can make the filter on your mind greater which is a problem for people that are already quite shy or quiet. Obviously, maybe this tip could be good for someone like a podcaster or interviewer or someone with advanced social skills already, but definitely not for people who need work on their social skills. So better advice is to be as natural and authentic as possible. When you come up with a question in your mind, just ask it. It doesn’t matter if it’s close ended or open ended. Just ask it. Express your thoughts instead of always just pushing them down and inhibiting them. Be free and release your true self. Let go. The best social skills advice for introverts or people that overthink is act 25% more stupid than you normally are. I know this sounds crazy and it might hurt your ego, but think about the popular kids in your class. Do you think they care about what they say? Do they think about what they’re gonna say beforehand like they’re scripting it? NO! They don’t care and they are the ones who are the social butterflies and they’re getting all of the girls. Think about the hot girl that you see training glutes in the gym. You don’t wanna talk to her because you’re a pussy(like me) and you start overthinking about what you’re gonna say to her. And then some stupid popular kid comes along and he just starts talking to her with a conversation starter like “How was your weekend?” and he ends up getting the girl and absolutely demolishing her in bed. I know that sounds brutal, but that’s honestly your fault for not talking to her.

Relax into the subconscious mind. People normally use their analytical skills(conscious mind) to talk to others by remembering stories or scripting out what they’re going to say to someone else. However social skills is primarily an EMOTIONAL skill. Talking is just a way to express who we are. So obviously if you’re a boring person that will reflect in your social life. That’s why the gamers tend to have very poor social skills. Talking is also a way to express how we FEEL. So that’s why the best way to improve your social skills is just forget about everything and LET GO. Let go of the overthinking and the scripting and be relaxed. Breathe fully so that your breath goes all the way down to your balls. Let your subconscious mind take over and this will allow you to talk like a normal person.

I just realized that I’ve been coping for the last few months. You see over the spring and summer, I was putting a lot of focus into social skills and I’ve leveled it up until it hasn’t really become a problem. But I think I still have work to do. I’ve taken my foot off the gas pedal from improving my social skills. I still talk to people so it’s not like I’ve abandoned it, but I think I could reach another level. Another level of self expression. I’ve been stuck at the same limiting belief for such a long time because I keep making excuses to not talk to people even when my brain has already generated a question for me to ask them. And I keep saying that I’m an introvert and that I’m trying to conserve energy or I’m trying to “maintain” my social skills instead of improving them. There is more work to do and I am going to try to be more authentic. Like today in class I had a question about something, but I shut it down quickly because I was scared of the teacher thinking my question was unrelated to the topic and stupid and kids laughing at me. But it’s not about the outcome, remember Alex. It’s about the person we become in the process. So are you inhibiting yourself or expressing yourself? Because both will compound over time. Do you want to feel free or live with suppressed emotions?

I’ve noticed that the popular kids at school are typically the ones that are able to attract girls mainly because of their confidence and how they don’t care. I think when it comes to social skills, it’s about being stupid. A lot of the more intelligent guys will typically overthink what they’re going to say and so they spend so much time preparing what they’re going to say. Meanwhile, the popular kid doesn’t really follow social norms and he will just say whatever he wants. I was walking behind one of the more talkative kids in my grade and he just randomly says hi to the cute girls that are walking behind me. This is something that I found so strange, but it clearly works. I don’t know if this kid has a girlfriend, but this is definitely the type of person to model when it comes to being social. It’s the type of kid that says hi to the teacher when nobody else does and the kid that just randomly starts talking. Be confident and start acting more like a retard.