Other people need it more than you do. The world is lonely. Even in a good and pretty wealthy neighborhood like the one that I live in, you’ll see people that are scrolling on their phone with their AirPods in. They’re not really that happy. Why not just ask them a simple question like “What did you do during break?” It doesn’t have to be a long conversation. Just simple and short and by doing that you are actually giving a compliment since you show that you care about them. People want to be heard. So be genuinely interested in them. Or at least pretend to. Go talk to someone right now and you’ll see how receptive most people are to you talking to them. Even better go talk to someone that you don’t know that well and you might even make their day.

I’m sure you’ve heard of things like “Ask open ended questions” or “Don’t equate your experience with theirs.” I remember I used to always be afraid of sharing things about myself because I thought it was wrong to talk about myself and so I would only listen and be interested in other people. Nothing wrong with being interested, but I couldn’t connect to people because I didn’t talk about myself. I think the issue with social skill tips is that it can cause too much overthinking and a lack of authenticity. When you’re purposely trying to ask an open-ended question, it can make the filter on your mind greater which is a problem for people that are already quite shy or quiet. Obviously, maybe this tip could be good for someone like a podcaster or interviewer or someone with advanced social skills already, but definitely not for people who need work on their social skills. So better advice is to be as natural and authentic as possible. When you come up with a question in your mind, just ask it. It doesn’t matter if it’s close ended or open ended. Just ask it. Express your thoughts instead of always just pushing them down and inhibiting them. Be free and release your true self. Let go. The best social skills advice for introverts or people that overthink is act 25% more stupid than you normally are. I know this sounds crazy and it might hurt your ego, but think about the popular kids in your class. Do you think they care about what they say? Do they think about what they’re gonna say beforehand like they’re scripting it? NO! They don’t care and they are the ones who are the social butterflies and they’re getting all of the girls. Think about the hot girl that you see training glutes in the gym. You don’t wanna talk to her because you’re a pussy(like me) and you start overthinking about what you’re gonna say to her. And then some stupid popular kid comes along and he just starts talking to her with a conversation starter like “How was your weekend?” and he ends up getting the girl and absolutely demolishing her in bed. I know that sounds brutal, but that’s honestly your fault for not talking to her.

Relax into the subconscious mind. People normally use their analytical skills(conscious mind) to talk to others by remembering stories or scripting out what they’re going to say to someone else. However social skills is primarily an EMOTIONAL skill. Talking is just a way to express who we are. So obviously if you’re a boring person that will reflect in your social life. That’s why the gamers tend to have very poor social skills. Talking is also a way to express how we FEEL. So that’s why the best way to improve your social skills is just forget about everything and LET GO. Let go of the overthinking and the scripting and be relaxed. Breathe fully so that your breath goes all the way down to your balls. Let your subconscious mind take over and this will allow you to talk like a normal person.

Many adults accuse young people of being lazy because they spend all their time on their phone on social media, consuming content, or playing video games. However, I don’t believe this is lazy. Laziness means not using energy and when you think about it, consuming content does use a lot of your brain power and so does playing video games. You have to process so much information while doing these things and your brain is constantly active. That’s why video games keep you awake and they’re not really relaxing. We just think they’re relaxing because we’re not physically active and all we’re doing is sitting in a chair. True laziness would be just doing nothing and just sleeping all day. This brings me to the point that most young people are lost, not lazy because they don’t what to put their energy into. They are lost because they haven’t had the correct role models in their life and they have become out of tune with their real self. They don’t even know what they like anymore because they’ve spent their entire life listening to other people and copying what other people do. Think about in school when we are conditioned to be like girls because no fighting, no talking, and you always have to listen to the teacher. As kids we don’t learn, we imitate, and if we’ve been imitating the wrong behavior we will be messed up. So what can we do about this problem? Learn from the right people is a good way to start. Instead of being the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with, it’s being the average of the 5 content creators that you consume the most. And then once you find the right people, you need to start listening to yourself. Give yourself some time to do nothing. I know I said this was laziness before, but I think giving yourself time to think is actually productive. By being alone and being introspective, you can learn a lot about yourself and your life. So start finding purpose today.

Just a reminder for everyone since we tend to care about what other people think. No one is really thinking about you. People are so consumed with themselves that they don't have time to think about you. So start caring less about what others think about you.