[Emotional Release Techniques] The Empty Chair 🪑

Sep 18 (edited) in Intro's & General Discussion

This Technique is commonly used in Gestalt therapy, a form of psychotherapy that emphasizes personal responsibility and focuses on the individual's experience in the present moment.

How the Empty Chair Technique Works:

In this technique, the client imagines someone significant, such as a friend, family member, or even a part of themselves, sitting in an empty chair in front of them.
The client then engages in a dialogue with the imagined person, expressing thoughts, feelings, or unresolved issues. This can involve saying things they never had the chance to say in real life.
Sometimes, the client may even switch seats and speak from the imagined person's perspective, facilitating greater insight and self-awareness.

Purpose:

It helps the individual process unresolved feelings, gain clarity about a relationship or situation, and explore conflicting emotions or inner dialogue.
It encourages emotional release, closure, and resolution of unfinished business, helping to integrate different parts of the self or conflicting feelings.

The empty chair technique is widely used in therapeutic settings to address unresolved emotional conflicts and foster self-expression.

So to get into the 'How':

I like to get two chairs, sit in one of them, and invite the person I need to resolve a problem with into the room (they are not really there, but you imagine them there).
Establish the relationship: i.e. if I had my dad in the chair I would say, I am your daughter and you are my dad.
Establish that there is love in that relationship: i.e. You love me and I love you. (This one can be hard for some people/some relationships, especially if you have struggled to feel love towards or loved by the person. If you don't feel like you can say this, it is fine to skip, but you will work towards being able to say it as you repair the relationship.)
Express all the ways in which they hurt you: i.e. "you hurt me when you...." Make sure to express all the emotions, all the ways they have hurt you, and say all the words that you have wanted to say but have gone unsaid.
Take back your power: i.e. tell them that you will no longer allow them to hurt you in this way anymore.
Now Jump into the next chair and respond to yourself, as if you were them and what you think they would say to you in response to how they hurt you and whether they believe you when you tell them you won't let them hurt you anymore.
Jump back into your chair, and respond to them, and reiterate that you will not let them hurt you anymore.
Jump back and forth between chairs as many times as needed until you have talked out the situation. You will know you have talked it out enough when you believe, and the person you are talking to believes, that they cannot hurt you anymore with their behaviors or words.
Invite Jesus Christ into the room. As a last beautiful step to help strengthen and support you in your newfound agency, you can bring the Savior into the room, establish that he loves you and you love him, and ask Him if he will help you forgive this person, and if he will help you to not allow that person to hurt you again. Then turn as if you were him and respond to yourself. i.e. "Yes, I love you, I will help you forgive him, and I will help you protect yourself from future pain this person may try to inflict."

(If you are not a believer, you can bring anyone into the room that is a source of strength and support for you to play this role.)

You can repeat this process as many times as you need until you feel that in your mind the conflict has been resolved and you can honestly say that you love this person, that you have forgiven them, and when you know that nothing they say or do will hurt you again. You have taken their power over you away. And you can love them no matter what they say and do, and choose to not be affected by them ever again.

*For full disclosure, I learned this from my therapist Dr. Craig Berthold, I did this in many sessions with him. I am not a therapist, so use this at your own discretion, do your research, and seek professional help if you need it. With that being said, Dr. Berthold has told me that I need to share this process with as many people as possible. He told me to get out in the world and teach this to heal families.

If you have any questions feel free to ask, either in this post, or you may DM me.

For next in this series, The Steering Wheel, click here: https://www.skool.com/prime-mover/emotional-release-techniques-the-steering-wheel?p=91d0098e

If you missed the last one, Tapping, access it here: https://www.skool.com/prime-mover/emotional-release-techniques-tapping?p=18cb53a8

9 comments