Setting Boundaries with the “Girl’s Trip”

Jul 29 (edited) in Mastermind

{ask} Looking for some advice on how to go about determining and communicating my boundaries with regard to my girlfriend of 4 months going to Nashville for a weekend girl’s trip. I know the initial reaction in the red pill community is if she decides to go I am supposed to just break up with her, but I think it is more nuanced than that.

We have already had discussions about boundaries with male friends, my stance being that she can have male friends, but if it starts to turn into sexual advances she is to shut it down. She has so far not given me any indications that she is seeking sexual attention from other men, and she is adamant that should a guy start making advances she will distance herself from that guy. But since this is still a new relationship, I haven’t actually seen this play out yet.

I still need to talk with her about the specific details of the trip, but I do know it's to experience Nashville. From the onset my concerns are that she will be going to concerts and bars, i.e. a “party” environment, where men will be hitting on her and wanting to pursue something sexual, and that she will just go with the flow and put herself in situations where cheating can occur. I have not met the friends that she’s going with, nor will I probably be able to before the trip, so I don’t know the demographic (i.e. are they single looking for hookups or are they also in committed relationships).

I don’t want to come across as controlling or insecure when expressing my boundaries with her, but my jealousy/mate guarding instinct is going into overdrive over this. I’m trying to discern if these anxieties are an internal issue to me, and something I need to address on my own, or if this is actually a situation that my anxieties are justified and I need to enforce a boundary.

If the circumstances were different, like if this had been a trip where she was going camping/hiking in the mountains with her girlfriends, I wouldn't have an issue with it. But since the intent is to go to and "experience" Nashville, I do have concerns.

Would appreciate any advice on what questions I need to ask her to see if it works with my boundaries, as well as communicating my boundaries with her before she goes, and also how to go about making sure those boundaries are enforced.

Here's some I currently have:

Should I let her go on the trip and see if she will hold my boundaries?

Is it being controlling/insecure if I have a standard that I am not going to be in a committed relationship with a girl that goes on trips like this?

Do I set conditions for the trip? I.E. she avoids specific environments that I’m not comfortable with?

Do I set a standard that if she wants to go to places like that, it’s either we go together or we don’t go at all?

Appreciate it!

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