Sep 9 in General discussion
I've Got a Charge Around Needingness
My girlfriend K asked me something this weekend that repulsed me a little and I'm wondering if this is a thing, or if I need to do some inner work around it.
She asked me, "How would you feel if I told you I needed you more?" I told her, "It depends on >how< you'd need me."
We live apart. I don't want to live with anyone, especially not a romantic partner. So we don't see each other every day. I'm busy and I'm good with once a week date night and other times throughout the week that are unplanned. It's been like this for 2 1/2 years.
Earlier in the day, she told me she realized that I'm a source of strength for her. A few weeks ago, she told me she wanted to spend more time with me, so I made it a point to invite her to hang out during the weekend when I was doing stuff around the house, like motorcycle maintenance, or such.
So clearly, she wants more of me. A year or so ago, we talked about attention being the coin of the realm in girl world (my words, not hers), and she looked at me said, "Of course I want 100% of your attention." She also told me once, "I want you resources." I appreciate her honesty and self awareness and also I have set boundaries around these things as a result of these discussions.
So, I'm feeling a little crowded here. I know I'm a source of strength for her; it's one of my masculine gifts. However, I feel like I might be coming up against a boundary around time.
My question is this: how do I know if this is a normal request about getting closer, or if it's sign of some inner work that she needs to do? Bells are ringing that tell me that I don't need to become her "supply" of sorts.
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I've Got a Charge Around Needingness
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