Happy Monday! I finished watching the lessons from week 7 over the weekend. My experience is that my mom recognizes that the way that they parented us was problematic and she would like me to forgive her. She often says things like "dad and I didn't know what we were doing", "we made so many mistakes", etc. I will usually reply to her comments with general statements because I don't feel comfortable sharing my true feelings with her about my childhood for a variety of reasons. So I kind of have the opposite problem - it seems like my mom wants to confront me and I am avoiding. Does anyone else have a similar experience?

I saw this on linkedin and started to think about how much I say " sorry" in a way that I am really making myself down and feeding into my feelings of not being good enough. The piece I think maybe geared to the workplace but it definitely got me thinking about how to change my language so that I feel more empowered. I posted it here. Sorry, not sorry 9 ways to cut the apologies (and what to say instead) 1. Took a while? : Instead of “Sorry for the delay,” Say “Thanks for your patience>” 2. Your time matters, but so does mine: Instead of “Sorry to bother you,” say “When you have a moment, could you…?” 3. Declining requests: Instead of “Sorry, I’m not able to help with that,” Say “I’m unable to take that on, But I appreciate you thinking of me” 4. Missing a call/meeting: Instead of “Sorry I missed the meeting,” Say “thanks for your understanding. I wasn’t able to join, but I’m catching up now.” 5. Setting boundaries: Instead of “Sorry, I can’t make that,” Say “I’m unavailable at that time. How about…? 6. Follow ups: Instead of “Sorry to follow up again,” Say “Just following up to check the status on…” 7. Made a small error? Instead of “Sorry, my bad!” Say “Thanks for letting me know. I will rectify it.” 8. Taking up space: Instead of “Sorry for taking so much of your time,” Say “Thanks for your time today.” 9. Self-Confidence: Instead of “Sorry, this might be a stupid question,” Say “Here’s a question that I’d like clarity on…”

Thanks for tonight. Twas lovely! I’m still having trouble getting the lessons to play on my phone. Is this something that can be fixed? It’s super difficult for me to find a lot of time to spend in front of the computer and much simpler with earphones on the go! Let me know. Tysm!!

Thanks everyone for the great call. Got me thinking about this orienting principle. Sometimes we have to see if we can "find it in our heart" to do something, for example, for our parents that we don't want to do. There is a place for grace here, where you can be surprised by unexpected generosity, an unexpected heart opening, that shifts you out of "should" and into choice. On the other hand, sometimes our relationship with a parent who has hurt us and never showed capacity and/or interest in getting real and getting closer, is over and has been over for years / decades. It's sad and all there is to do is grieve. If we are the only one left to do the caring, then give what you can, establish clear boundaries, and come into full acceptance of the situation - which also shifts one out of endurance. It's not fair, true. But life isn't fair, and that is also something to accept.

Hi. I am going to be able to join but will be a bit late! Looking forward to seeing everyone!!