D20Flow Nothing like a thickly rooted Afternoon Delight to get you through the day. Quickie style at that. Didn't see that coming. ha, that's what she said I like that the durations fluctuate. I don't know why I didn't think that was possible; why did I think there had to be so many fuckin rules about meditation. Why did I think there have to be so many fuckin rules about being healthy or feeling good about yourself or not giving a fuuuuuuccckkk D10Unpack Does anybody else look how long the meditations are before you plan when to 'squeeze' them in your day and I don't mean to be down playing the work we are doing (✨️🙌🏼✨️) by using the word 'squeeze' but the reality is there's only so many fuckinhours & and here WE are making ourselves a priority for ar least a few of those sands in the hourglass, So, Guess that makes these, The Days of OUR (fucking) Lives

D19Flow Sitting here, sucking on a mouthful trail mix ...not how I was expecting to be 'meditating' EVER! You sneaky little fucker you I wasn't ready for that AT ALL I was outside, laying in the grass, doing nature things. Man, your curve balls keep it interesting and I REALLY appreciate that (and need.that & hete for that); like I said (previously), not a routine fan but trying to be BIG scary (timely) fuckin habit monster. D19Unpack Dead dad's day, lover doing who knows w/ ex-husbands, teetering on the brink of breaking up w/ my audible lifemate, creative collaboraror & bff of 20+ year (fingers crossed that's not the case), playing midnight taxi, playing w/ myself fuuuuuuuucccckkkkkk Yup, totally got this... ...meal ...this breath ...this day (to be grateful for) So why not try & make the f-in most of it fucker 🤷🏽‍♂️

D18Flow Nearly took me till day 19 to get through 18. Man, what a fuckin scatterbrain doozy of a day/days/daze. Showed up. Made it though and that's all that fuckin counts Right? Oh, the good old rhetorical 'right'. Feeling much better (now). How come I keep waiting so long. This would be better in the beginning (of my day/life) Why do I stress so fuckin much about it. It's about not giving a fuck, (rhetorical) Right? D18Unpack Why when asked to envision something that's happened in my life, or a feeling, or a place , or a...during meditation, why do I often feel anxiety and draw a blank and then start spiraling, worrying that if I can't find this place, or this feeling, or this... I'm going to fall behind & fail. WHY why WHY? Literally what has transpired in the 3.5 hours in between penning this flow and writing this unpack could not be scripted FUUUUUUUUUICCCCKKK ...and (unapologetically) no fucks given

D17Flow Literally bringing my biggest fuck to the mat Source of my most pleasurable pleasure(s) PAL Thorn Love DEEP is relative i guess But think I got there Think I get this Think I got this Think I got it all And then, .... D17Unpack I feel it slipping away, just getting later in my day Still an essential priority and still feeling the benefits Still pleasurable AF Hands down But FUCK Life sure doesn't do you have favorites Can't even say that with a straight face. I am so fuckin lucky; I feel so fuckin grateful SOOOOOOO MUCH PLEASURE So many people have it harder, worse... I mean that's how you gauge personal success & stability, happiness even, right? Based on the misfortune of other. Wish you could just catch a break So maybe we could catch a break Selfish (ME ME ME) But ture

I sat down in the dining area while my family was buzzing around. Otherwise it wasn’t going to get done. At this point, they are all used to me doing yoga or working out in the living room, but not meditating. I sat and closed my eyes anyway. I fell right in the first five minutes, but lost track when my daughter ran up asking tons of questions. I am so beyond grateful for her. She hopped up on my lap and didn’t leave till I was done. We talked about gratitude and before I let her rush me off into the next activity, I made sure to finish the last minute of my meditation. It’s been so hard to change the habits in my lifestyle over the last decade— while having my family watch, but I can see where I’m starting to make a difference, so I know it’s worth it. My mom, sister and brother have become more active and our communication style is changing. Also, setting boundaries and nonnegotiables with myself helps. Even if others are upset that I’m not fulfilling their expectations— I am happy because I know I’m fulfilling mine. I’m starting to really TRUST myself 🥹