I’m starting to notice that the more I use self hypnosis, the less likely I want to listen to depressing music, the news, and I want to avoid toxic people even more.

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I have a seriously fucked relationship with money (for now). Mostly on emotional level. Growing up my family was never "poor", but the "we cannot afford that" mentality was all around, the seeds of money scarcity. Add the social conditioning of "you are worthless unless you are filthy rich" (manosphere did not help with this) and you have a person who is riddled with financial fears and cannot live his own life. As I am getting more open with myself emotionally, I have ideas I want to turn into reality and genuine curiosity for things I want to do and experience, but . . . They have nothing to do with making money. I am being pulled from opposite directions and it makes me stuck. I am stopping myself from going after what I want to learn/do/experience because of money, but at the same time I am not going after money as I don’t actually care that much. Fear of not having enough mixed with the absence of desire to have more. If you are feeling/going through something similar and just spinning your wheels, it's OK. You will get there. What I am starting to realize is that time(=life) is the only currency and I have to be very intentional what I am spending it on. It is more finite than any of us would like to admit. I should spend it on wealth. A wealth of experiences that is - that will accumulate to a life that I will look back at and say: " I had a great life, because I did what I really wanted. I had a great life, because it was actually mine. " Take a look at your "real" bank account. What do you really want to spend it on?

Hello everyone! In the middle of the night sometime ago I felt a strong weight in the core area. Something came to mind that was an 'Eureka' moment. I was tired drifting to sleep so I thought I'll write it down in the morning. Well, I forgot. This feeling was so profound/unpleasant but the wording described in my head was perfect. This was a breakthrough. Any Idea on how to reconnect or get this back in any shape or form?

I recall Ryan mentioning a key moment in his healing, where he was just going about his day and realised that he actually felt kind of good / happy... for no reason. While I am not at this point as of yet, I have been noticing in the past few weeks that I can become totally immersed in enjoying something I read, watch or listen to, despite not doing anz sessions for weeks (maybe more) now. As I was totally closed off from my emotions it took me a while to identify what it is, the confusion went from love to joy to happiness and around. Now I am certain that I finally experienced genuine gratitude. It was no longer a mental exercise. It was, and still is, repeatedly, an honest appreciation of the fact that I exist to begin with. That I was born where and when I was born, regardless of the challenges I have to face. That I can go through the experiences I have and finally can feel them. If you are struggling with being emotionally shut down, or not making progress, it's OK. You will get there. Trust your own pace, it's not a race. Though not with a specific goal in mind, but I did subject myself to media that made (and makes) me emotional. I did (and do) it in private so there was/is no fear of judgement or any interference from the external world. Ironically, it was more about numbing myself and trying not to look at my life... yet it turned out to be something great, an actual step forward. It simply took some time for the inner changes to mature and reach the surface. If you are feeling lost, confused, not knowing what the next step is, it's OK. You will get there. Trust that you will find your own path unique to you, sometimes at the most unexpected places. It won't be and does not have to be identical or even very similar to someone else’s.