Dear fellow students ❤️ I felt called to share my journey and where I'm at. My intention with doing so is to change so I can step up and do what I'm called to do. I feel that I should be doing so much more with my life and I'm eager to learn and re-learn. I first started reading Think and Grow Rich back in 2015 but because of my mental shape at the time I was not able to take it in. I started reading it again a year ago but without a desire reading it felt pointless. I finally discovered my purpose this May through Cliona and her guidance and the book finally makes sense to me even though I still have a lot to learn. Since writing down my definite chief aim about two months ago I have felt bombarded. I have been experiencing negative thinking, feelings of depression and I have been emotionally unstable (like really unstable at times...). My spark... totally gone. My cup constantly half empty. Since I have been doing the work before I know that no matter the circumstances I can have inner peace (but no peace despite 🙈). I have been listening to Karla and I realize it all goes back to my thinking. Somehow I forgot the basics. I need to go back to that stick figure. I'm now dealing with some of the roots. On of them is genuinely feeling that I'm not a good person. I didn't even know this was a thought and a feeling of mine but I now see that I have been carrying this heaviness with me since losing a person close to me on top of severe trauma in my teen years (I'm now 37). How could I create the life of my dreams with this core-belief? Of course it's not possible. I have been feeling numb for about a month and a half and I begin to realize that it probably has something to do with the fear of losing again. My numbness started with my father having a stroke at this June. It has brought me a lot of sadness and tears since I have not been close to my dad despite caring for him a lot. Right now I feel so grateful for this community and for the people at NHI. Listening and reading the material is quite comforting.