Have you ever been in a conversation where you felt like your words just weren’t landing? And no matter how hard you tried to connect with that person (or people), how many rapport building techniques you used, your words just "disappeared" into a void? Something felt... off. Here’s the One main potential reason: It might not have been what you were saying, or even how you formulated your words. but HOW you were feeling while saying it. Someone very wise once said, : " Energy introduces you before you speak" is true. It's also true, that "energy speaks while you are speaking" Emotional (and energetic) congruence is when your inner emotional state aligns perfectly with your words and intentions. This IS the secret ingredient that makes your communication feel authentic, impactful, and ultimately powerful. By "powerful", I mean, impactful. In NLP there is a saying that "the meaningh of your communication is the result you get". I always add, "the meaning of your communication gets filtered through your energetic filter".... Take a moment to think about it: if you’re feeling insecure while trying to convince someone to trust your words, they’ll instantly sense it, even if your words sound confident. Thery are picking your energetic vibration which calibrates subconsciously. Humans are wired to pick up on subtle emotional cues, and any mismatch between your energy and your words WILL always break trust in an instant. Here’s a quick experiment for today (I am inviting you to take is as a fun challenge): Before your next important conversation, pause for a moment. Ask yourself: - “What outcome do I want for this person?” - "What experience do I want to be for them?" - “Am I fully energetically connected to achieving the purpose here?” (pay attention to how you feel in your "gut") - "How do I feel about myself right now?" If the answers generate any level of discomfort, take a deep breath and imagine what it would feel like to already have their trust, their excitement, or their commitment.

I am curious, as for everyone, Christmas evokes different feelings... For me, there ids an element of nostalgia for the times past and the magic of the way I remember it back in Poland where tradition was ancient and very much alive... How are you celebrating and what is your most predominant thought?

If there was one piece of advice you could give someone who suddenly realized that they had way more personal power than they ever imagined, and are experiencing an identity crisis, also regretting wasted time, what advice (and a piece of wisdom), would you give them for the road ahead? Lets share your thoughts...

I decided to share this thought as many people asked me about this, and also, in my view, many NLP practitioners and Master practitioners have been misled by a wrong assumption, which has to do with the nature of rapport. The idea of pacing and leading and matching and mirroring, has been distorted, with bad consequences - mainly a dis-rapport... We've been told that we must mirror another person so that they feel connected to us. While on a very superficial level, it's true, it is also completely false, on another level... Here's why; rapport happens on an unconscious level, and when we are in rapport, we automatically match the other person. The two unconscious minds recognize each other, and orchestrate the matching, which happens across multiple dimensions such as body language, facial expression. heartbeat, color of the skin, and even sequencing of words in communications. This can be observed in auditoriums where one row of people seats in the same position. This means, they are following a "subconscious leader" in the group, and are completely unaware of it. The matching needs to happen initially when we ask questions and create general observations. The unconscious rapport will happen when they trust us, and our intentions are pure. The truth is - people respond to perceived intent... and instantly and unconsciously adapt physiology to that perception. When we meet a person, there are multiple things we need to do to connect with them: First, establish a clear intent with respect to them ,and our interaction with them. Second there are specific techniques to abolish resistance, such as what I call, the "Silver Platter Formula", which is purely Ercicksonian, and instantly abolished resistance hypnotically. It goes deep, very fast...! This is the rapport Building System that works like a dream, and is absolutely necessary as a tool for Practitioners... Mirroring someone like a puppet is a formula for disaster, as we are consciously unable to be congruent across all the subtleties of the matching, and when trying to do so, we get into our head, and forget about the person in front of us... It's as if they are not even there...

I have a challenge for you here and invite you to participate fully....Lets dive in and put our hearts to it... If you look back at your life and all your learnings, discoveries, wisdom and "overcomings", what would you advice the child version of yourself, who hasn't experienced anything that you have yet.? What would be the most powerful thought you would like them to live by... Please share your thoughts in the spirit of enhancing awareness and expanding the conversations we've had... @Brian Murray @Adam Dove-Dixon @Robin Davids @Lisa R @Griffin A. Hamilton @Dave Heraud @Alan Paul @Angela Perry @Francesco Patafi @Devon Meadows @Orest Zwozdesky @Randy Hyden @Sandhi Spiers @Sandhi Spiers @Sarah Hankins @Jawed Iqbal @Anna Nowak