I was writing a character which brings a lot of traumatic memories and emotions. This often overwhelms me, causing me panic attacks, whenever I'm trying to enter this character in my memoir/ semi-autobiographical novel. Then I start to subconsciously avoid it, procrastinate and fix something else instead of entering this charcter. Its been going on for months. Do you have similar experiences and how do you deal with it? How do you breakthrough this block in memoir/novel/general writing? I dont know if writing with pain is the only option. I used to first vomit writing and resurrect as much as memories as possible while letting my forehead go on fire, almost fever-like. but i think there must be a way to navigate through hindsight and insight of the memory to gain perspective and foresight and then further craft the shitty first draft. Any concrete ways to tackle this rawness of memory "fever"? But is the only way to reach the shitty first draft is to let myself be overwhelmed and having the "fever" for certain amount of time and then rest for some time? Most who were traumatized, whether with mental disorders or not, went on with their life and tried to forget. We know forget is not the answer and dwelling is not either. And we urge to write. I'm almost also gaining clarity and perspectives on what happened. Urgency in writing is powerful and the urgent lies in my bipolar/feminism/Chineseeness experience. Just extending, then what about in the future, will my writing always be about that pain? I dont think pain is sustainable. How do I deal with memory and the panic of remembering when I write? Sorry I went on blabbing. I genuinely hope to hear from you 💙

I just purchased Rawness of Remembering and despite the fact that I live within 20 miles of Lulu headquarters I guess it's not going to get here until December 20. Does anyone have any favorite resources they turn to for journaling that they'd share with me in the meantime? Thanks!

Y’all, I alluded to this in another thread, but I need help with releasing my work to a publisher. With all my intersectional identities, I am very wary that I would get what I wanted in a traditional process, but I keep seeing similar (but whiter, maler, straighter, and more abler) so ok, not similar besides our nerdy interest (in this case urban planning) getting deals. I appreciate any and all encouragement. And yes, I do plan to join the academy as soon as I can scrape some extra funds because I know it will help me just like this space, but in a deep way.