Female Friends
Just been doing outreach on Bumble and in real life. My lead magnet is offering a meal at the place where I work. Money is tight and especially online I want to make sure the girl is real and not psycho.
With Bumble one girl got pissy about splitting the bill....I'm not dating lmao. But does this make me look bad/cheap? If I meet a girl IRL I need to enhance my IG and then exchange socials, I frankly don't like using bumble and don't want to pay the premium add ons.
In real life it's been a split of girls think I'm asking them out on a date. A couple others have been down.
I'm putting myself out there. I'm not 100% relying on cold approach to get dates. Would rather get warm leads and then close them.
PS
I do have a couple warm leads where I work. I don't want to stick with one girl for the rest of my life ideally.
PPS
I'm kind of talking outloud. I think I know what I need to do next if I want to start dating more girls and eventually hotter ones.
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27 comments
• Apr '23
I’d recommend always paying for the first date, and don’t date where you work. Instead make her your female friend.
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• Apr '23
You get warm leads by making more female friends. It sounds like some of the messaging you're doing is a bit confusing or they're interpreting differently from what you're going for. I highly recommend getting on a free Monday call and seeing what Michael has to say about that.
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• Apr '23 (edited)
I will attend a free call in a couple weeks. I recently got a schedule change. That's what's been stopping me from attending.
I think some of the girls that like me are scared I'm a player and automatically think I'm asking them out.
0
• Apr '23
they aren't scared you're a player, but they can probably see through your attempt to befriend them hoping it leads to dates later. Women aren't scared of players, they love them. If women didn't like them, Dan Bilzerian wouldn't be consistently sleeping with all the hottest women on the planet.
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• Apr '23
I think you need to make your intentions clear to yourself. Are you dating or are you not? You start out with saying you're not, but then further down you insinuate that you are. Be up front and honest with these girls. If it's not a date, tell them before they agree to come out so there is no weirdness when it comes time to split the bill.
I understand where you are coming from. Dating can get really expensive. Especially if you are doing it daily. But you also need to look at it from the girl's perspective. She will naturally be thinking, "If he can't afford to buy me the first meal, he can't afford to be in a relationship with me." And that's what most women date for, to find a relationship, not to network. That's why it's imperative you be up front with them in the beginning. If it's not a date, tell them before they even come out. Let them know you are just networking and building your friends circle. Then they'd have nothing to get pissy about.
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• Apr '23 (edited)
I want to get female friends that will eventually lead to dates. As in they intro me to other chicks. I'm just finding the whole use fancy food as a lead a bad strategy overall. I think I'm better off working on my business.
0
• Apr '23
I would avoid food dates for first dates as they are very transactional and predictable. I like going to the firing range or to Dave and Busters as there's an exciting activity to occupy the time (she will remember how much fun she had) and it breaks the "I am buying you dinner hoping you will sleep with me" dynamic.
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• Apr '23
dave and busters seems good. firing range is too noisy - they mention that in the book Mate
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• Apr '23
I have noise canceling ear muffs so I ear just fine, but normally yes I agree its noisy.
I will spend 30min max there and if we have fun we go to another venue.
I am curious what the book Mate is about that sounds right up my alley.
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View 2 more replies
• Apr '23
Hey Zachery! I myself have tried using bumble friends to make female friends and haven’t had luck. Met up with one girl, but seem very pretentious. Feel it’s best to meet people out and about rather than an app. Best of luck!
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• Apr '23
That's my criticism with the app. I potentially might be bringing a psycho to where I work and damage my reputation. On top of it I have to pay for everything? At least with real life I get an opportunity to make some snap judgments.
0
• Apr '23
You probably just need to be clear with them. Tell them that you aren't interested in dating, you just want to make friends. Some of them may decline, but that at least will spare you the ugliness of foiled expectations.
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• Apr '23
Actually, here's what you do — skip the date. Just get their IG, add them to your list, and invite them to value-giving events, like you learned in the program.
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• Apr '23
I have been clear with at least one of them...I think the one in question thinks I want to date her and I think there will always be girls that will think that way. And she thinks I'm out of her league. Girls aren't stupid, they know guys want to F. With her I stopped trying to invite her, just keep teasing her. I will be swimming with pussy by end of the year, I'm not going to put all my eggs in 1 basket with any girl.
I may be extending invites to other guys as well. I don't want to comp a female friend 100% especially if I don't know them.
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• Apr '23 (edited)
Some people HAVE tried to use Bumble BFF. It's the "friend-finder" side of Bumble.
Now ... on Bumble BFF, it only shows you the SAME SEX, so to get female friends from Bumble BFF you have to create a FEMALE PROFILE. Use your normal pics, but when setting up the profile check your sex as "Female." This is a violation, and you could get reported ... but if you're not a creep, and if you make it clear in your profile text you're looking for friends only, I have heard of it working. With a little luck, no one will report you, and the girls who want male friends will get it. And if you get reported, oh well ... back to the drawing board, you've lost almost nothing.
The downside is that you don't get to use Bumble for dating, since you will be locked into that "female" profile. BUT, since you have given up on Bumble Dating anyway, this might not be a downside for you.
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• Apr '23 (edited)
Ok I didn't know it worked like that. I was a male looking for female friends and even then girls wanted me to pay for everything? Lol no, hard pass.
I will pass on bumble.
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• Apr '23
on Bumble Dating or on Bumble BFF?
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View 3 more replies
• Apr '23
There's this girl at my job that seems to be going places. She will work Friday. I might ask her out. But obviously have to be very careful with workplace drama. Don't want to be seen as a player.
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• Apr '23
I see the free course in the "classroom" section. This is especially relevant:
Do I have to pay for events?
No. If you frame it properly by letting people know that it's a group event, then most people understand that they will be paying for themselves. Set clear expectations.
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• Apr '23
Update:
I scrapped the Bumble idea. Just going to focus on meeting people IRL and exchanging contact info. Summer is coming up soon, I'd love to meet some girls by getting a boat party together.
0
• Apr '23
Yeah scrap the bumble idea. you dont go on there to make friends, theyre trying to date so there's misalignment
0
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Zachery Moy
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Female Friends
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