18d ago in Words of Wisdom
Brief Interviews with Hideous Men – Interview B.I. #42
What strikes me most in B.I. #42 is the question it leaves with us, echoing a familiar complexity in our work. In Interviewee #42, we see characters grappling with a contradiction - whether to despise or admire a father who has sacrificed pride for duty.
While #42 can’t seem to resolve his feelings, I find myself thinking: there’s a quiet, nobility in this father’s work.
For me, the distinction lies in the profound difference between humility and humiliation—a line you subtly explore and bring into stark relief.
Humility is the willingness to lower oneself out of love or duty to others, to sacrifice ego and pride in the service of a greater good. It’s the postal worker who braves the elements every day to provide for his family, the volunteer who gives time to support a cause.
Humility stems from purpose, from a sense of responsibility that extends beyond oneself. Humiliation, on the other hand, is rooted in self-centred motivations—a pursuit of attention or money, even if it comes at the cost of dignity.
Think about the lengths people go to every day for attention or validation, even if it means sacrificing their own dignity. Consider the calculated social media posts, where we sometimes reveal more than we’d like just to get a few more likes or comments.
It’s the friend who laughs a little too loudly at their own expense in a group, or the co-worker who bends over backward to impress the boss, even at the risk of being taken advantage of. We see it when someone overshares a personal story, hoping it will make others see them in a certain way, or when people push themselves into social circles that don’t truly respect them, all in search of approval.
These examples aren’t as flashy as your stereotype reality TV show, etc, but they come from a similar place: a desire to be noticed, to be relevant, or even to find acceptance. It’s amazing how much we’re sometimes willing to give up—even our own comfort or authenticity—for the fleeting feeling of being seen or valued by others.
For #42’s father, there is no fame, no glory. Instead, his duty is humble, almost invisible, but it’s fuelled by a sense of responsibility toward his family. Though he endures indignities daily, he performs his role with grace and commitment.
Perhaps his son, #42, is too entangled in his own discomfort to recognise that this duty was a noble act of love, one that provided him with opportunities he might never have had otherwise.
I wonder if #42 will ever truly see his father—not just as the bathroom attendant subjected to the whims of “hideous men,” but as a man who wore that uniform with honour for the sake of his son. While #42 may feel embarrassed or conflicted, it is this very labour that carved out a path for him.
In ways he may not yet realise, his father’s service wasn’t an act of humiliation but of humility, rooted in a sense of duty that transcends pride to reach love.
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Brief Interviews with Hideous Men – Interview B.I. #42
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