I got way too many things in my head and sometimes I need to get them out or my brain will explode. Who knows, you may enjoy my ramblings as I share some of the best stuff I have learned over my 60 years of being a humanoid. So click here to access a collection of articles I put together in no particular order.

For this post, I unashamedly share someone else's words. Mavis Karn worked with young offenders in the United States and, upon leaving her job, wanted to give those she worked with a gift. She recalls not wanting to give socks or some other trivia, so instead, she wrote this letter and gave each individual a copy. The secret that Mavis talks about here is the understanding that underpins my approach to coaching… Dear Kids (and former kids), I have a secret to tell you, Nobody meant to keep it from you… It's just that it's been one of those things that's so obvious that people couldn't see it…like looking all over for the key that you have in your hand. The secret is that you are already a completely whole, perfect person. You are not damaged goods, you are not incomplete, you are not flawed, you are not unfinished, you do not need remodelling, fixing, polishing or major rehabilitation. You already have within you everything you need to live a wonderful life. You have common sense, wisdom, genius creativity, humour, self esteem…you are pure potential…you are missing nothing. The only thing that can keep you from enjoying all that you already are is a thought. One thought, your thought. Not someone else's thought. Your thought . . . Whatever thought you are thinking at the moment that feels more important to think than feeling grateful, alive, content, joyful, optimistic, loving and at peace. . . that's the only thing that's between you and happiness. And guess who's in charge of your thinking? Guess who gets to decide where your attention goes? Guess who gets to write, produce, direct and star in the moment you're in the middle of? You! Just you. Not your past (stored thought), not the future (did you ever notice that it never, ever shows up?), not your parents (they all think their own thoughts), or your friends (ditto), or school or television or situations or circumstances or anything else. Just you. Thinking is an awesome capability.

Sometimes, we get overwhelmed. Happens to even the best of us. The problem is that historically, I would get drunk when overwhelmed. And I did not want to get drunk anymore. So, I had to find a way to keep the overwhelm to a minimum. It's been 17 years since I had my last drink, so that's not as big of a concern as it used to be. But still, getting overwhelmed can knock me down, and I'd rather avoid that. I'm pretty sure someone else in this community feels the same way and wants to avoid getting overwhelmed and held back from doing what they need to do. Today, I am sharing five simple questions I picked up during my journey in recovery. These questions have helped me stay on track when dealing with tough decisions and feeling totally swamped. Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it inspiring? Is it necessary? Is it kind?

What if the quality of your relationships isn’t about how others treat you; it’s about what you allow? When you keep accepting disrespect, you’re not just enduring it—you’re silently agreeing to it. The way you value yourself sets the standard for how others will, too.

The main difference between feeling like you belong and just fitting in is all about the unique qualities of each experience and how they affect how we see ourselves and connect with others. Fitting in means adjusting to a group's expectations and norms. It's about blending in, even if it means hiding parts of yourself to match the group's standards. When you try to fit in, you might change how you act, your opinions, or even your appearance to be accepted. It's all about seeking validation from others and going along with the group, even if it means not being true to yourself. Fitting in might make you feel like you belong temporarily, but it often comes with the feeling of pretending to be someone you're not. Belonging, on the other hand, is a more profound, more authentic experience. It occurs when you feel accepted and valued for who you are without needing to change or hide parts of yourself. Belonging is rooted in a sense of connection where you are embraced for your uniqueness, and your true self is recognized and appreciated by others. It's a feeling of being at home, not because you've adapted to fit a specific mold, but because you are accepted as you are. Belonging fosters genuine relationships, self-acceptance, and inner peace, as it's based on mutual respect and understanding. . - Authenticity vs. Conformity: Belonging is about authenticity while fitting in often requires conformity. - Self-Expression vs. Self-Suppression: In belonging, you can express your true self; in fitting in, you may need to suppress it. - External vs. Internal Validation: Fitting in seeks external validation, whereas belonging is about internal acceptance. - Temporary vs. Lasting Connection: Fitting in can provide temporary security, but belonging offers lasting and meaningful connections. . It's like this: trying to fit in means living up to other people's expectations, while belonging is all about being accepted for who you are. Belonging can lead to stronger and more satisfying connections while fitting in might make you feel isolated and disconnected from your true self.