I wasn't sure which category to put this under. Power Struggles seemed to resonate with me the most, so that's what I picked. I hope that's okay. Today ended in turmoil. In my attempt to help my 13yo son have an amazing 14th birthday, I ended up putting myself in my ex husband's crosshairs and, yet again, I got blamed for all that went wrong, belittled, and my motives questioned and manipulated. After foolishly allowing myself to get sucked into a texting battle, I finally ended the conversation with this: From now on, I will not volunteer to help you with anything. In trying to help the kids, all I end up doing is putting myself in your line of fire and I get blamed for everything that goes wrong. I am tired of having my motives questioned and being falsely accused and belittled. And since I am responsible only for my own actions and words, that's what I will focus on. Have a good night. --------------------------------------------------------------------- What's the point in asking someone to treat you fairly over and over again, when you know darn well that is too high of an expectation? A leopard cannot change his spots anymore than a narcissist can change the wiring in his brain. Maybe this time I'll remember my boundaries and stay out of the way. 😆 Thank you, Katie and team, for this group and today's group coaching. It was a reminder I needed and I'm so very grateful for all of you. ❤️

I initially thought of our 5 yo son who can be quite strong willed. His is bedtime and not wanting to go to sleep. I've done choices with him and sometimes he goes to bed mad. As Katie mentioned the piece about worrying how someone will react I thought of our 7yo son who can be very emotional and I sometimes catch myself trying to prevent a melt down. He's at the age now where I was able to talk to him out of the moment and share how sometimes I step in too soon trying to prevent and actually end up causing problems and that I will try to allow him to work through things but that I expect him to go take a break on his own if he feels his emotions rising too much and he was ok with that. That was just a couple days ago so we will see how had works out.

My youngest is 2 and aren’t all 2 year olds going through a power struggle stage?? Haha. When he hears no or doesn’t get what he wants, screaming ensues. My tactic at the moment is attempt to communicate and offer things he may need, when that doesn’t work I peace out and go on about what I was doing. Today I put him in his crib and checked on him in two minute increments until he finally decided he wanted mom to pick him up. My first born was not this way. My biggest struggle is when it happens in the store… I usually slink down an empty isle and give a firm demand to stop, enough is enough, threaten to go back to the car or get a spanking. It usually gets us through a rushed attempt at grabbing what we need. My 5 year old and 17 year old butt heads constantly. My 17 year old is excessively bossy and tells my 5 year old not to do things I wouldn’t even tell her not to do. My 5 year old usually just attempts to defy her constantly and then comes and tells me how JJ (the 17 year old) is so mean!! Usually through tears and red faced. There used to be quite a power struggle between me and my 17 year old when she was younger but I caught on to the ways she was trying to bait me and that helped me shut things down in the beginning. I know this is about our kids, but I feel as though there is a bit of a power struggle going on with me and my husband. I am totally a woman who takes charge and it all works out fine until something I want to do interferes with my husbands world or until he steps in to make something happen. My kids have seen that struggle a number of times and I’m not proud to admit it. I think power struggles stim from wanting to be in control or to control an outcome. Everybody wants something and is looking out for their own interests. Maybe expressing our interests and concerns instead of just trying to control everything would be a better approach.