I’m going to put this out. Not to condone any actions I have done or look for attention or hope. but to be brutally honest about me and who I am and let all of you know even at the loneliest hardest times you are not alone in your walk or your struggles. I’m not going to go over all the “trauma” of my past just know there was a lot of it mostly sexual and throw three combat deployments as a flight medic in plus a few years as a fireman law enforcement officer and paramedic I think many would get the basic picture. I love my wife. We have been separated for some time now. I struggled with adultery. Significant adultery. I got back from Afghanistan and some thing happened I’m not sure what but I started cheating. That was in 2016. I didn’t stop. I tried to run only to find I was living in shame. I had broken my back in combat in Iraq and had to have rods placed in there. This caused pain. I choose alcohol over pills because I figured that was okay. I wanted to support my family and be a good man and not get caught in addictions. I could never let go of my shame though. It festered it grew. I kept cheating. Not as much but it continued. I was diagnosed with Crohn’s and hospitalized more then once. I got fired as a fireman for refusing the vaccine and then as a sheriff for adultery. I was lost broken and had nothing. My family and all the honor I thought I had went down the drain. I wanted to kill my last and almost did so. I ended up in inpateient treatment in Utah at Deer Hollow (amazing program) I got out and though I had a chance to repair my marriage and tried. I did well and had no issues but my wife wasn’t ready. We are now separated and she has asked for divorce. After she asked for a divorce i made the choice to sleep with another woman again. Foolish. After that I realized in my heart what I was doing and who I was. I had not been a good man. I had tried but my actions spoke otherwise. I drew a line. And i promised for id never cross that line again. I pray daily i see josh sometimes more then once a week. And I dedicated my time to celibacy and becoming a son of god.

And check out the post of who We need to work on a relationship with! I love you all! 1) who you are 2) Vote what is your favorite ice cream flavor Let’s shoot to all respond and remember winner of post 2 challenge wins a coffee gift card!

This is getting real! I love to think of this as HELP is on the way! I feel like the Vision of 52 MHM is coming to fruition and giving people a bite sized way to daily heal their lives through their relationships they already have! We all have relationships! Many are broken, but NONE and I mean NONE (bold statement I know) NONE are beyond repair. It is repairing these relationships that brings you peace and joy! Lets get at it! Attention Attention the first MHM launching next Wed! Before this launches please take time and through out a small introduction and a name of a person you would like to repair a relationship with! Lets keep each other in our thoughts and prayers! Please participate! AND IF you don't have a single broken relationship in need of help or TLC then you are in the wrong place! I will step aside and let you take this bad boy over lol!! Love you all!! So blessed to journey with you! 🥰