I'm usually fine throughout the day but right before I sleep I get urges usually when I haven't done it in 2-3 days.

My #1 trigger is thinking about girls that I fumbled. Girls that I had the opportunity to fuck, but didn't due to circumstances or trying not to get them attached to me. Most times that I relapse, it starts with ruminating impulsive thoughts about one of them. (There's literally like 15 girls that shuffle through my head when I get in this mindset, but 5 come to mind the most. The ones I was the most emotionally attached to. I used to have ZERO rizz lmao). Even if I don't relapse, like right when the urges begin, I'm depressed as FUCK bro. These thoughts kill my mood immediately. The #2 trigger is very similar, but it's thinking about my exes. Again, ruminating impulsive thoughts about what we used to have, becoming delusional in the fantasy as if we could ever have that shit again. (When I'm thinking logically, I wouldn't ever want to see these girls again). But yeah, again, it's an instant mood killer. Instant depression. And that depression makes it really easy to just relapse. Then I'm REALLY depressed. So how can I fix this? How can I retrain my brain to be resilient when these thoughts arise? Or how can I train my brain to simply not even think about them anymore? The worst trigger of them all is this one girl I was talking to all summer in 2019, but since there was distance and neither of us could drive at the time, we kinda grew distant. I didn't even know if she liked me so I brushed it off. Then, she got a boyfriend that she's been with ever since, which kinda made me depressed. And a few months ago, she called me randomly to admit that she had a HUGE crush on me the whole time we were talking. I was such a dumbass back then, man. Out of every girl I've met in my life so far, she's pretty much the girl of my dreams. But she's unobtainable. I missed my opportunity. When I think of her, I get so depressed, and it can lead to a relapse. But not even a horny "I wish I could fuck her" kind of relapse, but like an avoiding my feelings kind of relapse. Just being sad. That's where most of my relapses stem. The whole time I have impulsive visuals of putting a gun to my head. It's just an escape, man. I've been getting better, but I could still use some help because these feelings are really spontaneous lmao.

Super short mindset video, you can watch it in 1.5 - 2x speed. It'll take 1 minute. This mindset changed how I see doing ANY bad habit. https://www.loom.com/share/020ea816e80a44518e60cd32a7927f66?sid=2dc04d4f-1a0a-4456-8f68-025f37d7608f

Comment on the video and like it if you get value bro. Takes one second and helps me a lot too