I used to wake upโฆtake a hit of extremely powerful weed, start scrolling on tinder, jerk off, and then feel completely ashamed and de-energized for the rest of the day. It felt like I was living an inauthentic life hooked into the matrix, and I was addicted to things that didnโt make me happy and that benefited no one other than the corporate powers that have an interest in keeping me hooked and passionless. I needed to ask for help. And I needed help from other men specifically. Before I could learn to be intimate with a woman (which was something I desperately wanted) I needed to feel safe with men and deal with my father wound. I was lucky enough to find a powerful group of men struggling with the same things I was, and to find a mentor to work with me one on one on many of my addictions, compulsions, obsessions, and resistance. Soon he told me it was time to mentor other men and I realized that men really need other men. Within a couple of years I wrote, produced and performed a play that was sold out in New York City every night. This play told my story and it healed me with its deep exposure therapy. Not long after I found my passion and purpose through my creativity and service to other men, my father fell and hit his head and was in a nursing home for five months before he died. I was able to be there for him completely present and sober, and I was actually singing to him as he passed. Thankfully I had gone from a completely distracted and addicted man child to an emotionally and spiritually available son in a short amount of time. After this I got married to the love of my life, who helped me heal from many of my sexual, emotional, and inter generational trauma and addiction wounds. We continue to grow together each day and are very happily married. I no longer waste me sacred sexual energy on the matrix (porn, apps, destructive sexuality), and I no longer feel the need to use substances to manage my emotions. After I got married my career as a personal trainer also took off and we were able to move to a beautiful house in Westchester that we both love.